Tag Archives: Rock Hudson

Pretty Maids All in a Row (1971)

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 4 out of 10

4-Word Review: Coach kills pretty students.

Ponce (John David Carson) is an awkward teen in his senior year of high school that still hasn’t been out on a date. He suffers from having erections at the most inopportune times and too shy to ask out one of the many beautiful female students that populate his school. He also finds himself dealing with a series of murders of pretty coeds who turn up dead with funny little notes attached to them and he starts to suspect that the killer may be the school’s beloved football coach (Rock Hudson).

The film, which is based on a novel by Francis Pollini with a screenplay written by Gene Roddenberry starts out well with sharp, satirical dialogue and funny situations dealing with the police investigation, but then deteriorates into smarmy sex jokes and becomes nothing more than a teasing T&A flick. The script makes it obvious early on that the coach is the killer and had it not revealed this so quickly it could’ve made the film more of a mystery and given the ending an impactful twist.

My main beef though is that it takes place in a high school instead of a college even though all the students look to be well into their 20’s. The fact that the coach has sex with the female students makes the thing seem off-kilter as does Angie Dickinson who plays a teacher who brings Ponce into her home to help him with his erection problem. If the setting was a college with the student characters over 18 than all this tawdriness would at least be legal and less outrageous.

The female students come off as being too free-spirited and reflect the counter-culture movement that occurred mainly on the college campuses of that era and not the high schools. They also all look too much like models. A realistic portrait of a high school class will have a variety of body types not just those of women ready to become cover-girls. I enjoy beautiful women as much as anybody, but the film should’ve had at least one average or overweight female in the cast simply to give it balance and avoid it from seeming too much like a tacky male fantasy, which is all this thing ends up being anyways.

Hudson, with his monotone delivery, is a weak actor and gave only one good performance in his career, which was in the film Giant. Yet here his discombobulated acting skills successfully reflect his character’s confused personality. Carson is a bland protagonist and his presence doesn’t have much to do with how the plot progresses. His character is put in solely for a dull side-story dealing with his attempts to get-it-on with his teacher in her home, which amounts to being just a dumb comic variation of Tea and Sympathy that is neither funny nor sexy.

The supporting cast is far better. Telly Savalas owns the screen as a relentless investigator. Keenan Wynn is hilarious as a dim-witted policeman in one of the funniest roles of his prolific career and he’s the best thing in the movie.

My Rating: 4 out of 10

Released: February 26, 1971

Runtime: 1Hour 31Minutes

Rated R

Director: Roger Vadim

Studio: MGM

Available: DVD, YouTube

Lover Come Back (1961)

lover come back

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 6 out of 10

4-Word Review: They all want VIP.

Jerry Webster (Rock Hudson) steals clients from other ad agencies by throwing them parties filled with a lot of liquor and loose women. When Carol Templeton (Doris Day) who works at a competing ad agency finds out about this she goes on the offensive by getting Rebel (Edie Adams) a woman who attended one of Jerry’s wild parties to testify against him at the ad council board, which she hopes will get Jerry severely reprimanded. Jerry though gets Rebel to soften her testimony by promising her that she will be involved in the advertising campaign for a new product called VIP. The problem is that there is no such product, but Carol thinks there is, which leads to a lot of confusion including having Carol start a relationship with Jerry under the misguided notion that he is the chemist working on the new product.

The film is fast and fun for the most part although there isn’t as much physical comedy as in some of Day’s other vehicles, but makes up for it with some sharp dialogue. Although Day’s films have always been considered family friendly the film probably has just as much sexual references and innuendoes as any other movie.  There is even a scene where Day takes the Hudson character out to a strip club and has a stripper shed her pasties right on him. Even more amazing is the scene where the Day character actually considers having sex with Hudson before she is married to him. She ultimately doesn’t go through with it, but the fact that she was about to and even takes out a revealing nightie to wear seemed shocking enough.

Day’s costumes, which were designed by Irene Lentz who just a year after this film came out jumped to her death from a 14-story window, are chic and heighten the film’s visual appeal. I especially liked the variety of hats that she wears some of which go humorously over-the-top. I also got a kick out of Hudson’s garish suit that looks like it got splattered by twelve different cans of paint. My only complaint here is the absurdity of Day going to work looking like she is dressed for an elegant dinner party.

Day is gorgeous as ever, but her performance seems a bit one-note and amounts to nothing more than a collection of exasperated and perturbed reactions. It is actually Hudson who is typically a weak actor that steals it. The cocky way his character tries to finagle his way out of everything and his interactions with Tony Randall are the best.

The film ends with the two characters getting married, which I am sure fans of Day’s movies like and expect, but it really doesn’t make a lot of sense and seems quite contrived and formulaic. The script’s original ending had the two characters getting drunk and then checking into a hotel room, but Day insisted the characters get married instead even though it is unlikely any judge or minister would marry two people in a drunken state. The Hudson character was a raging playboy who could get attractive women whenever he wanted and clearly viewed sex as a conquest. It is most likely that after a few years of marriage he would get the itch to fool around again, which would culminate in an ugly divorce and make this ‘happy ending’ not so happy after all.

My Rating: 6 out of 10

Released: December 20, 1961

Runtime: 1Hour 46Minutes

Not Rated

Director: Delbert Mann

Studio: Universal

Available: VHS, DVD, Amazon Instant Video