Category Archives: 80’s Movies

Endangered Species (1982)

Posted on June 23, 2026 | Leave a comment

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 4 out of 10

4-Word Review: Investigating mysterious cattle mutilations.

Ruben (Robert Urich) is a recovering alcoholic who quits his job as a cop and decides to move to rural Colorado with his teenaged daughter MacKenzie (Marin Kanter).  Along the way their vehicle breaks down in the small-town of Buffalo.  They decide to make their temporary home there and Ruben meets up with Harriet (JoBeth Williams) the newly elected sheriff. He learns that she’s investigating, with the help of local newspaper reporter Joe (Paul Dooley), some mysterious cattle mutilations that has been plaguing the area. Ruben, who grows fond of her, helps her in the pursuit for answers and comes to determine that it may have something to do with a nearby abandoned military complex as well as a neighboring cattle baron Ben (Hoyt Axton) who seems awfully worried about anyone snooping around.

The film’s direction, done by the still budding Alan Rudolph, is probably the best thing to recommend about what’s otherwise a pedestrian story. I liked the soundtrack, which despite the setting being quite rural, has a cool sci-fi vibe, and the grainy cinematography gives it a documentary feel. Rudolph’s use of capturing dialogue, which was clearly inspired by his mentor Robert Altman, is cool too as the camera will focus on one person, but we’ll hear the conversation of two other characters who are not in the shot. Unfortunately, the plot is unimaginative, and the mystery portion becomes too obvious.

Urich is miscast in the lead, the part was intended for Robert Mitchum who would’ve been far superior. Urich’s a nice guy and all, but not convincing as a brash, hard-edge cop making his entire performance come off as affected. His character arch, which focuses on an alcoholic trying to redeem himself, both with his career and relationship with his daughter, is too formulaic to be either gripping, or compelling though it’s interesting to hear him casually utter the slur ‘faggot’ at one point as it would be impossible for someone in a movie today to say that and still be deemed the hero.

I also didn’t feel an outsider was needed here as Urich seems to come up with all the clues that you’d think somebody living in the town would’ve deduced far earlier. A good example is when he follows some trucks to the military complex and starts to connect this to the cattle killings, but any other resident could’ve done this too and most likely would’ve. Most small-town people are characteristically suspicious of government agencies, so knowing that there was an abandoned federal outpost nearby would’ve made that area number one on their suspect list and would not have required the assistance of some big city cop to get them there.

Jobeth looks awkward and uncomfortable in her police uniform. I dug the idea of having a female sheriff, which hasn’t been done too much, so it offers a unique angle, but it approaches it in an illogical way. For instance, it has her attempting to break up a male bar fight by her trying to somehow tackle one of the men, who immediately fling her away as if she were a rag doll and it looks as pathetic as it sounds. Clearly, she should’ve gone into that with some backup by male deputies, or a taser, but for her to go in it alone and think somehow, she can ‘handle it’ makes both her and the film look like it has no common sense.

I will though give some credit to the scene where Urich is in her shower and he makes a pass at her and she in returns gives him a gut punch, which was unexpected as I was afraid it was going to turn into some sort of sappy, stereotypical love scene, which does occur later, but I at least enjoyed the momentary attempt to go against the grain.

Spoiler Alert!

I did enjoy Axton’s bad guy part. He performance isn’t anything spectacular and his poisoning moments, where he brushes his teeth with a contaminated toothbrush that causes his gums to bleed looks more like he’s just swishing around red Kool aid in his mouth. I also thought it was ridiculous that Urich would force Axton to drive the pick-up at gunpoint when he was clearly in a weakened and distressed state that could’ve killed them both. However, his death scene, where he kneels on the highway and has his abdomen burst out of his body, is awesome and the film’s best moment though it could’ve been extended.

The ending unfortunately offers no resolution. It has the night helicopters of the bad guys flying away while JoBeth and Urich remain on the ground watching helplessly. To sit through nearly 2-hours of this thing, which is at times a bit slow, there needed to be more of a finale. Preferably nabbing the baddies and breaking open the case and the fact that this doesn’t happen makes the whole thing feel like one big waste of time.

My Rating: 4 out of 10

Released: September 10, 1982

Runtime: 1 Hour 37 Minutes

Rated R

Director: Alan Rudolph

Studio: MGM

Available: DVD, Blu-ray, Amazon Video, YouTube

 

 

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Posted in 80's Movies, Movies Based on Conspiracy Theories, Movies with a rural setting, Mystery, Thrillers/Suspense

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Number One with a Bullet (1987)

Posted on June 15, 2026 | Leave a comment

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 2 out of 10

4-Word Review: Mismatched cops fight pushers.

Nick (Robert Carradine) is a renegade cop who plays by his own rules and uses unorthodox ways to not only nab the bad guys but also getting them to confess. He gets matched up with Frank (Billy Dee Williams) who’s more on the cultured side and enjoys the company of beautiful women. They are assigned to transport a known snitch named Boudreau (Alex Rebar) so that he can help the cops identify dangerous drug dealers, but before he can give any names he gets killed forcing the two to use their local leads to get them inside information as to who the hit man was and who ordered it.

Initially I thought this was a rip-off of Lethal Weapon as it has the same basic storyline and set-up and since it was produced by the Cannon Group, whose output of movies were never that original anyways, it seemed to make sense, but to my shock this one actually was filmed first, in April-May of 1986, while the other one was shot in the fall of ’86. Either way it’s basically the same thing though the one with Mel Gibson/Danny Glover fares a bit better.

The main complaint here is the over-the-top nuttiness of the Carradine character, that was originally meant to be played by James Belushi who might’ve been better. It’s not so much that Carradine gives a bad performance, he actually does okay for what’s asked, but as a protagonist I really couldn’t stand the guy. I didn’t see him as a ‘hero’ but more of a problem. His interrogation of the suspects is just plain ridiculous and at one point hangs a guy upside down from a tall building and then just leaves him there. I realize with Dirty Harry it made cops who do these things seem ‘cool’, but in reality, it would and should get them into a lot of trouble and the fact that he’s constantly able to get away with it with almost no consequence except some minor exacerbation from their superior, played by Peter Graves, just makes the thing even more absurd. The truth is if these suspects got a good lawyer than all the information that they stated while being tortured would’ve been thrown out since it was under extreme duress when they gave it, so then Carradine’s ‘tough guy’ efforts would’ve become more of a detriment and not a solution as it gets portrayed here.

Aside from this he’s also just a complete jerk especially with the way he treats he’s so-called friend and buddy Williams. For instance, when they’re up in a plane, Williams tries to meditate since he has a fear of flying, but instead of showing him any sympathy Carradine just makes a joke out of it. He also ruins one of his potential dates by insinuating to the lady that Williams was gay, which makes you wonder with friends like these who needs enemies. Carradine’s relationship with his ex, played by Valerie Bertanelli, is creepy too. He comes off more like a stalker who can’t move on and in need of a restraining order to keep him away.

What tops it off even more is the blandness of the bad guys as they all take the term cliche to new heights. The stereotypes are so strong here it becomes literally cartoonish and almost like an unintended parody. They acted and looked the same. Each new one they came upon seemed just like the last one and I ended up not caring whether they ever were able to bring in the kingpin or not and the tired, overused scenario just gets more irrelevant and boring as it goes on.

I did feel that Billy Dee Williams was fantastic and likable and had the movie just been centered around him, without the stupid ‘psycho’ sidekick, I probably would’ve enjoyed this better. He gets horribly underused as Carradine is given most of the screentime when it should’ve been in reverse. The jazz score is good too, but other than that there’s nothing to recommend. It’s just another B-rate 80’s cop comedy/drama that adds nothing to what was already a tired formula.

My Rating: 2 out of 10

Released: February 27, 1987

Runtime: 1 Hour 43 Minutes

Rated R

Director: Jack Smight

Studio: The Cannon Group

Available: DVD, Blu-ray, Tubi

 

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Posted in 80's Movies, Black Comedy, Buddy Movies, Police Drama

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Five Days One Summer (1982)

Posted on June 9, 2026 | Leave a comment

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 6 out of 10

4-Word Review: Mountain climbing with niece.

The year is 1932 and a Scottish doctor by the name of Douglas (Sean Connery) arrives in the Swiss Alps for a vacation with a young woman named Kate (Betsy Brantley) whom he introduces as his wife. The truth though is that she’s really his niece and the two have run off together for a few weeks so that they can endeavor in their affections without the prying eyes of Sarah (Jennifer Hilary) who Douglas is actually married to. The two hire a guide by the name of Johann (Lambert Wilson) to help them climb the mountains. He eventually becomes aware of Kate and Douglas’ ‘arrangement’ and tries to convince her to leave him, which she starts to consider after realizing that Douglas isn’t quite the man she thought he was, but when she brings up the topic of breaking up Douglas refuses to listen insisting that despite the wide age gap the two are ‘perfect’ for each other. Johann then comes to the conclusion that it’s up to him to make Douglas change his mind and plans on doing it while guiding him up the steep climb of Maiden Mountain.

This marked the last film to be directed by the legendary Fred Zinnemann and while the story itself is weak the climbing segments are both breathtaking and intense. The actors were forced to do many of the stunts themselves and everything is quite authentic with nothing done inside a studio or in front of a green screen. The bird’s-eye shots inside an icy canyon that Connery almost falls down into and which Johann spots the shoe of a dead body, is visually impressive and helps the movie standout. If you watch the film for only these moments you should still go away quite entertained and enthralled.

As for the script, which is based on the short story ‘Maiden, Maiden’ by Kay Boyle, it doesn’t work as well. The source of the problem stems with how Kate falls for Douglas. The film fails to have any adequate explanation for why she ‘loves’ him so much and the fact that she starts having these feelings for him as a young child, even though he is already a full-grown adult, ceases to make much sense. Children can certainly like adults in their lives for a variety of reasons, but it’s usually through admiration, or respect, but not as somebody they want to be with romantically. Here though, even while under the age of 10, she’s quite possessive of him and very upset when he leaves, which makes it more like a weird obsession and that she has psychological issues.

Had it been centered around some sort of event, like Douglas had saved her from an animal attack, or accident, or fire, as a teenager and she started to have feelings for him that way, it might’ve been easier to buy into. Or, she could’ve been shown dating men her age, but finding them to be immature and irresponsible, and thus she turns to Douglas because of his money and prestige, but the film doesn’t show or elude to either of these scenarios and thus making Kate a very weird one-dimensional, enigma that at times even comes-off as creepy and unhinged particularly as she angrily glares at Douglas’ wife when she first meets her.

Connery’s character isn’t so great either. It’s hard to sympathize with a guy who beds his brother’s daughter and openly cheats on his wife while she’s living with him in the same home. Johann, the guide is also off-putting. He’s stiff and robotic showing little emotion except for anger and frustration, so the viewer doesn’t care much for him as well and thus by the third act with no one to really root for you become detached from the proceedings causing the climactic finish to have no impact at all.

Spoiler Alert!

The photography at the end is still quite good, but what should’ve been gripping, like watching the two hang on for dear life while boulders and rocks slide down the mountainside all around them, fails to elicit much concern because they’re both unlikable. Seeing one of them fall from the mountain is realistic looking, it resembles even at a distance, a real man and not a dummy, but being coy as to which man it was, didn’t really heighten the tension, or suspense, making this come-off more like a misfire despite the amazing action and cinematography.

My Rating: 6 out of 10

Released: November 12, 1982

Runtime: 1 Hour 48 Minutes

Rated PG

Director: Fred Zinnemann

Studio: Warner Brothers

Available: DVD-R (Warner Archive Collection), Amazon Video, YouTube

 

 

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Posted in 80's Movies, British Movies, Cold Climate/Wintertime Movies, Drama, Foreign Films, Movies Based on Short Stories, Movies with a Hotel setting, Outdoors

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D.O.A. (1988)

Posted on May 26, 2026 | 1 comment

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 4 out of 10

4-Word Review: College professor ingests poison.

Dex Cornell (Dennis Quaid) works as a college professor where he teaches writing, a craft he once showed promise in, but has given up on in order to sit back and enjoy the benefits of being tenured. Rob (Nicholas Lang) has written a book and gives Dex the manuscript for him to critique, but Dex is too lazy to actually read it but gives him an ‘A’ on it anyways for effort. Later Rob is pronounced dead after jumping off the roof of a college office building and then after that Dex begins to feel sick and when he goes to the hospital, he’s informed that he’s ingested a fast-acting poison, of which there’s no remedy, and will kill him within 48 hours. Dex then uses what little time has, and with the help of a college student Sydney (Meg Ryan), of which he glues himself to, to find out who it was that killed him.

This is a remake of the classic original that came out in 1950 and starred Edmond O’Brien. While most will agree that was the better film, I didn’t think this one was all that bad. Maybe, it benefited from me coming up with very low expectations, but overall, I liked the way this one played out, at least the first hour that kept me kind of riveted. The shift from black-and-white to color was slick and Quaid and Ryan give great performances. I felt the set-up was a bit better too, I clearly knew who the suspects were and genuinely intrigued to find out which one did it. I was even surprised when the actual perpetrator is unmasked. Usually, I can guess these things ahead of time, but here I didn’t.

On the flip side there were added elements thrown in for no reason. The heatwave thing confused the heck out of me. For one thing it takes place during Christmas, so there shouldn’t be any heat to speak of, and it makes no difference to the plot, so I didn’t know why it had to be brought up as much as it is, or even at all. Also, the characterizations of the policemen are pretty bad. I get it that they wanted to show that they’re ‘hardened’, but these guys come off like they have no soul. A guy comes into the station telling you he’s been poisoned there should be some concern, after all these are public servants, and to act so glib about it was over-the-top. It’s not every day that you meet someone who tells you they have literally just a few hours to live, so there should’ve been at the very least some shock and surprise on their part.

The thing really starts going off its hinges when it loses sight of its very premise. Having Dex get trapped in a car and furiously kick the rear window until it breaks in order to escape, seemed off kilter. Most healthy people probably wouldn’t have the strength to break a car window, and this guy should’ve been in a weaker condition due to the poison, making the odds of him getting out even lower.

He also seems to at one point, make love to Meg while the two are on the run. It’s not explicitly shown, but heavily implied as he’s seen putting a blanket over her nude body as she lays sleeping on a sofa, so they must’ve done something, but how? They guys is sick, so having an erection would be too physically demanding and besides that he has limited time to find his killer and that should be his top priority. Making love is wasting away precious minutes and therefore last thing he’d want to do.  Having him shown getting physically weaker as the poison progresses would’ve helped heighten the urgency and kept the focus on him slowly dying, but the way things get done here we almost start to forget about that.

Spoiler Alert!

The twist ending makes things even more ridiculous. Again, I liked that Stern was revealed to be the killer, as I hadn’t even considered him, but having him doing it over a student’s manuscript was far-fetched. Apparently, it was so ‘brilliant’ he just had to steal the idea, but it’s highly unlikely that anyone would be able to write something so perfect on their first draft. Many manuscripts have to go through several revisions and edits before it even starts to come together and this is from professional writers who do it for a living, so for a student who’s never even attempted to write a book before the odds are he’d have a long way to go to get it publishing ready even if the story idea and prose had good potential.

Watching Dex then casually walk away from the interrogation room, as seen during the closing credits, didn’t make much sense either. In the original version, O’Brien died at the end, and that’s what Quaid should’ve been seen doing too. Otherwise, it makes it look like the whole thing was a hoax. Besides where exactly is he walking too?  By this point he should have only a matter of seconds left and be too weak to be able to even get up let alone move. It may look ‘cool’ to have him casually stroll out, but it doesn’t mesh with the reality of the situation and further weakens the novel premise.

My Rating: 4 out of 10

Released: March 18, 1988

Runtime: 1 Hour 36 Minutes

Rated R

Director: Rocky Morton, Annabel Jankel

Studio: Touchstone Pictures

Available: DVD, Blu-ray

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted in 80's Movies, Christmas Movies, College Life, Moody/Stylish, Movies that take place in Texas, Mystery, Remakes

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Uncle Buck (1989)

Posted on April 30, 2026 | Leave a comment

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 4 out of 10

4-Word Review: Babysitting his brother’s kids.

Bob and Cindy (Garrett M. Brown, Elaine Bromka) must leave for Indianapolis when they’re informed that her father has suffered a heart attack and are desperate to find someone to look after their three children: Tia (Jean Louisa Kelly) who’s the oldest, and Miles (Macaulay Culkin) and Maizy (Gaby Hoffman). After going through all possibilities, they finally settle on Bob’s brother Buck (John Candy). Buck avoids commitment and spends most of his time at the track betting on horse races. His relationship with the kids is awkward, but he finally manages to bond with the younger two, but things remain frosty between him and Tia.  Things further escalate when Tia wants to spend time with her boyfriend Bug (Jay Underwood) whom Buck does not approve of.

While the film has its flaws, which we’ll get to in a minute, it does start out pretty well. Candy is always good for laughs, even just his very presence can elicit chuckles, and Kelly, in her film debut, is excellent and helps give the story some depth with her three-dimensional character. While the humor does score points, particularly the giant pancake that Buck serves up to the kids, there were other moments where I felt it could’ve gone further. The scene dealing with a clown, played by Mike Starr, who shows up to the kid’s party drunk, would’ve been funnier had he actually been allowed inside and then have Buck get into a fight with him all to the amusement of the kids who had been bored just previously.

The main character though ultimately becomes a big drawback. One second, he’s a laid-back slob and in the next instant a stern father-figure. It was confusing why someone, who didn’t even know the kid’s names when he’s driving up, would suddenly take such extreme concern for them in just a matter of one short week. This was a guy who had no children, nor wanted any, so where did he suddenly get all this parental wisdom from? Would’ve been better had he initially been completely carefree with the kids, let them do whatever they wanted while he sat back and drank beer, only to eventually realize through the chaos that there needed to be some rules and limits, which would’ve given him an actual character arch verses this weird, unexplained Jekyll and Hyde thing that we get here.

He also has moments where he isn’t all that likable and seems in a way kind of creepy. His broken down, back-firing car is a total disaster and an embarrassment to Tia who asks that she be able to walk home instead being seen going inside it. If Buck was really being sensitive he would’ve understood her feelings and agreed to let her walk home, or picked her up a few blocks down the road that would’ve been out of sight of her friends. However, he instead becomes very angry and controlling insisting he’ll pick her up whether she likes it, or not, but why be so demanding? Just a little while earlier he barely knew she existed and he’s just there for a week and then back home to his regular life, so why not just let her do what she wants, it should make no real difference to him either way.

The scene where he traps the cheating boyfriend in the trunk of his car is equally problematic and in reality, could’ve led to some serious consequences. Granted it would’ve been the gentlemanly thing for the boyfriend to have officially broken up with Tia before he starts messing around with someone else at a party, but that still doesn’t give Buck the right to tie him up with duct tape, and drive around until the wee hours of the night with him in the trunk. Legally this would be deemed kidnapping and then having Buck nail him in the back of the head with a golf ball would’ve gotten an added charge of assault and if the kid, or his parents, went to the authorities, Buck would be in a heap of trouble. The car exhaust was in such disarray anyways the kid probably would’ve been overcome with the fumes and when Buck did finally open the trunk door he’d find himself with a dead body.

Buck’s girlfriend Chanice, played by Amy Madigan, isn’t handled right either. She’s introduced briefly in the first act and then pretty much disappears only to come on strong near the end, which doesn’t work. Having her consistently in the film by having Buck regularly calling her to get advice on how to deal with the kids, or do household chores, which then could’ve helped strengthen their teetering relationship. Marcie, played by Laurie Metcalf, who was the weird neighbor lady who tried to come-on to Buck, was not needed. I admit that Buck’s ‘conversation’ with the washing machine, which Marcie overhears, was quite funny, but having Chanice walk-in while he’s talking, would’ve been just as good.

The inciting incident is weak too. Buck is reluctantly asked to come babysit the kids because they couldn’t find anyone else, but in reality, Bob, the husband, really didn’t need to go with Cindy to Indianapolis to visit her sick father. Yes, it’s nice for the spouse to tag along when he can for moral support, but his job probably wouldn’t have let him off on such short notice, and this was 1989 long before remote work was even a concept. To make it more plausible Bob and Cindy should’ve already been on a trip, like a cruise, and then having logistical issues, like a weather event, force them to extend their trip. The babysitter that was in place wouldn’t be able to stay longer and then asking Buck to come for only ‘an extra day or two’ would’ve made more sense. The film then could have this running joke where Buck would think is time there would be coming to a close only to have Bob and Cindy call again telling he’d have to stay longer because more problems had come up, which would then elicit increasingly frustrated responses from Buck.

My Rating: 4 out of 10

Released: August 16, 1989

Runtime: 1 Houd 40 Minutes

Rated PG

Director: John Hughes

Studio: Universal Pictures

Available: DVD, Blu-ray, Amazon Video, YouTube

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Posted in 80's Movies, Adolescence/High School, Campy Comedy, Comedy/Drama, Movies that take place in Chicago

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Seven Minutes in Heaven (1986)

Posted on April 1, 2026 | Leave a comment

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 4 out of 10

4-Word Review: Two teens live together.

This review is brought to you by request from ‘somebody’ who also requested that I review Times Square and Uncle Buck, which I will do in the preceding weeks. This one though, while starring several up-and-coming young stars is strangely obscure as the only place to find it streaming is on YouTube and while it does have a DVD issue it’s not on Blu-ray and even more shockingly is not listed in Leonard Maltin’s Movie Listings.

The story revolves around Natalie (Jennifer Connelly) who is left alone for a period of time while her father (Micheal Zaslow) is away on business. While he’s gone she allows her friend Jeff (Byron Thames) to move in since he’s having issues with his stepfather (Marshall Bell). Natalie though is not into him romantically as she’s got a crush on James (Alan Casey) that Natalie’s friend Polly (Maddie Corman) is also into. Polly is initially upset when James goes after Natalie instead of her, but she gets over that when she meets Zoo (Billy Wirth) a male model and professional baseball player.  She even flies all the way out to New York in order to hook-up with him during a baseball series that he is playing there.

On one hand this has a lot of pleasing elements. It’s different from most 80’s teen flicks in that it’s not vulgar, or raucous.  The main character isn’t some mindless, sex starved teen who immediately jumps into the sack with Jeff when he moves in, which is nice. She doesn’t even let a cute guy kiss her, who she is into, when she meets him during aa trip to Washington D.C. She’s quite sensible, as are her friends for the most part, and these characters come-off more like young adults in the making than cartoonish caricatures of out-of-control party animals with no limits like in most other adolescent films from that era.

On the flip side the adults didn’t seem too believable. Her father leaving a teen alone for what seems to be weeks and never bothers to call, or check-in on her seemed hard to fathom. Jeff’s parents behaved in an equally confounding way. They just let him run off and make only feeble attempts to try and ‘win’ him back, but I would think they’d become more assertive when they realized he was living with another teen of the opposite sex unchaperoned, which could presumably lead to unwanted pregnancy, so since he’s under 18, and he certainly looks like he is (he was in fact 15 when this was shot), they’d have the right to demand he come back, or get the authorities involved versus just sitting back and acting like they’re helpless to do much of anything.

I thought Polly’s ‘romance’ with Zoo was a bit off too. For one thing he’s supposedly an adult playing in the major leagues, so hooking up with a teen would be inappropriate. Yes, he does ‘ask her’ if she’s 18 and she does say that she is, but she looks much, much younger (she was 14 when it was filmed), so he should’ve known that she was lying. Of course, maybe he did and didn’t care, but that should’ve been confirmed either way.

The segment though where Polly gets arrested while at the ball game and is hauled away by the cops only to have Bill (Terry Kinney), the team photographer, intervene by pretending to know her to keep her out of trouble is when this thing really jumps-the-shark. If he had some perverse underlying motives, like he wanted to force himself on her sexually when he brought her back to his place, which certainly wouldn’t be good, but at least make some sense, I might’ve understood it, but instead that’s not the case. He brings her to his apartment and then insists she call her parents while allowing her to stay their temporarily, but why do this? What’s in it for him? Does he do this same thing for everybody when he sees them getting arrested? This could also prove to be dangerous for him as well. What’s to say she wouldn’t vandalize his place, or sneak in and steal his credit cards, or money out of his wallet when he’s asleep? Why would anybody want to take such a risk for somebody that they didn’t know? If he had been a teen counselor working with runways/delinquents then it might’ve worked, but the way the scenario gets portrayed here is just downright wacky.

I did like though that the film does bring out an underlying jealousy that Polly has towards Natalie and this causes her to become vindictive. Most other teen movies don’t do it this way. If there’s a ‘mean girl’ involved she’s already the enemy at the beginning, but in reality, friendships, even close ones, can have their share of rivalries and can become strained especially at that age. So, the movie scores on that level, but then ruins it by having them instantaneously become chums again when they bump into each other at the airport without any scene showing them talking through their feelings, which should’ve been necessary.

Connelly is terrific and I enjoyed the moments where she imagines herself as an adult character inside an old ‘B’ movie as well as the scene where she fantasizes of slapping the Vice President across the face, but it gets confusing who the main protagonist is supposed to be. Corman, as Polly, gets almost as much screen time and in certain ways goes through more of a change.

In either case I didn’t find any of to be very involving. The fall scenery is pleasant, and teens are inoffensive, but the storyline is too serene. There was potential for a lot more drama and comedy and the scenarios should’ve been played up more. It starts out cute but becomes increasingly more benign as it goes and completely flat lines by the third act.

My Rating: 3 out of 10

Released: May 9, 1986

Runtime: 1 Hour 28 Minutes

Rated PG-13

Director: Linda Feferman

Studio: Warner Brothers

Available: DVD, YouTube

 

 

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Posted in 80's Movies, Adolescence/High School, Comedy/Drama, Romance

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Three Fugitives (1989)

Posted on March 17, 2026 | 1 comment

 

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 3 out of 10

4-Word Review: Bank robber becomes hostage.

Daniel Lucas (Nick Nolte) gets released from jail after serving 4 years for armed bank robbery. After getting out he goes to a nearby bank to cash his prison check and inexplicably gets caught up in another robbery when Ned (Martin Short) tries robbing the bank that Daniel is in, in order to pay for a special school to take his daughter Meg (Sarah Rowland Doroff) to since she refuses to talk. When the police surround the building Ned decides to take Daniel hostage in order to escape. Inspector Dugan (James Earl Jones), who was the one who had arrested Daniel for his earlier crimes, is convinced that Daniel has orchestrated this one too and tries chasing him down, so that he can arrest him again.

Hard to believe that such a successful screenwriter like Francis Veber could write such a dud like this, but after the first 10-minutes this thing falls precariously flat. In fact the opening robbery is the only thing in it that is funny and had it stayed on that level, with Daniel and Ned trying to avoid the relentless pursuit of Dugan while Daniel tries to clear his innocence, this might’ve worked, but too much other stuff gets thrown in that dilutes the main concept until it’s not fun anymore.

The introduction of the kid backfires. She is certainly adorable especially the way she goes running and does help lend sympathy to Ned and his motivations, but the cute factor gets laid on a bit too thick and eventually becomes forced. While I may not have a PHD in psychology the concept that this girl at the young age of 5 would just decide to not talk didn’t seem realistic. You can say it was caused by the death of her mother 2 years earlier, but other kids deal with their parent’s death and that doesn’t stop them from speaking. Kids have notoriously short attention spans, so to have her keep up this non-talking for literally years and have it not deeply rooted in some neurological issue was just too much of a stretch. No explanation either for why Nolte’s presence would suddenly get her to start talking again and then when she finally does start to speak, she begins to babble incessantly, which gets to be a problem the other way.

The police are too inept here. There are plenty of other films featuring bumbling cops and some of them can be funny, but here it doesn’t get played for laughs and instead just used as a way to get the characters out of a dilemma. Once an APB gets put out of the robbery and the men’s identity it becomes hard to believe that Ned would still be able to walk the streets in full view of the cops, which he inadvertently bumps into while walking on the sidewalk and even interact with, and not immediately be recognized. The car chases are dumb too. One has them two driving off the road and into a ditch while the police cars speed by, but it wouldn’t be long for the police to realize they’ve gone too far after not spotting them and turn around especially when Ned’s car explodes from the grenade that was left inside, which should’ve immediately signaled their whereabouts to the police. Later, during another chase, Ned is able to easily fool the police by turning under a bridge and parking his car behind another one while the cops go speeding by, but if it’s this easy to consistently dupe the police you wonder how they’re ever able to catch anyone.

Nolte’s okay in his gruff kind of way, but Short is too high strung making his character more tense and anxious than funny. Kenneth McMillan, an excellent character actor whose last film this was, gets stuck with a dumb role involving a veterinarian who apparently is so senile he thinks Nolte is a dog, but to ‘see’ a grown, big guy like Nick as a canine means he’s got far more problems with his mind than just dementia and thus his moments come off as protracted and desperate for laughs that never come.

Spoiler Alert!

The jump-the-shark moment comes at the end when Short finds himself taken hostage by yet another bank robber. While I love irony this concept gives it a bad name and like with everything else in the movie seems thrown in as a way to allow the characters to have a quick convenient way out of their predicament with no concern whether it makes sense or beats astronomical odds. The small sporadic chuckles that you may have does not make up for seating through the rest of it.

My Rating: 3 out of 10

Released: January 27, 1989

Runtime: 1 Hour 36 Minutes

Rated PG-13

Director: Francis Veber

Studio: Touchstone Pictures

Available: DVD, Amazon Video, YouTube

 

 

 

1 Comment

Posted in 80's Movies, Buddy Movies, Comedy, Remakes, Robbing Banks

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The Dream Team (1989)

Posted on February 20, 2026 | 3 comments

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 4 out of 10

4-Word Review: Lost in New York

Dr. Weitzman (Dennis Boutsikaris) is a psychiatrist working at a mental hospital who decides to take four of his patients on a ‘field trip’ to watch a Yankees baseball game. The four patients consist of: Billy (Michael Keaton) who suffers from violent impulses, Henry (Christopher Lloyd) who thinks he’s a doctor, Jack (Peter Boyle) who imagines he’s Jesus Christ, and Albert (Stephen Furst) who can only communicate through baseball terms. Things start out okay, but then Dr. Weitzman witness two corrupt cops (Philip Bosco, James Remar) murdering someone and this leads to him being knocked unconscious. With no one to lead them it forces the four to work together to not only find help but also justice for their doctor all while doing it inside the big, scary place known as New York City.

The first act is too reminiscent of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and it doesn’t help things that Christopher Lloyd was in that one too, which does nothing but make you want to watch the original and skip this one completely. The humor is too mild, you might chuckle a bit, but there’s never any laugh-out-loud moment. The doctor is also too damn benign. What made the other one so interesting was that Nurse Ratched, the supposedly ‘normal’ one, was just as goofy, maybe even more so, as the patients she was overseeing and ‘helping to cure’ and it would’ve been nice had this doctor also had some unique aspect versus being so painfully blah.

The biggest issue though it that these guys really aren’t all that ‘dangerous’. Sure, they suffer from delusional traits but nothing that necessarily screams that they need to be institutionalized. In Keaton’s case he comes off as downright rational and only needing therapy in anger management. The rest too are quite gentle and could easily exist, with proper medications, in an outpatient setting and the film should’ve approached it that way. Instead of playing it like this trip was their ‘only’ chance to see the outside world again it should’ve been the first of what could be many trips that would hopefully allow them to reacclimate into society.

The trip thing has some intriguing potential, but ultimately losses its edge when it’s revealed that these characters lived and worked in the city before they had their breakdowns and can easily find their way around as evidenced by Henry going back to where he lived and Jack visiting his old job. Having these guys come from a small town to a big, massive city they’d never been to would’ve offered more challenges and comedy. It’s also confusing why the doctor’s identity isn’t known and he gets placed in the hospital as a ‘John Doe’ because he should’ve had his wallet on him, I don’t remember seeing it stolen by the corrupt cops, and therefore his driver’s license would’ve said who he was.

Spoiler Alert!

The mystery aspect where no one believed their story about the corrupt cops, I actually liked, but everything gets resolved too easily. For one thing I didn’t like Keaton’s girlfriend, played by Lorraine Bracco, playing an integral role in getting the bad guys caught as this was the four’s story and therefore it should’ve been solely up to them to find a solution. Having them get caught and temporarily thrown into jail only to escape was unnecessary and only helps to slow down the pace. There’s also a major loophole in that the four end up ‘disguising’ themselves as doctors in order to get access into the hospital and yet earlier their faces were shown on a televised news report, so most assuredly somebody would’ve seen that broadcast and recognized them and thus their ‘charade’ would’ve come to an end before it ever got going.

The ending is confusing too in that the four are allowed to go on a second field trip, but this time all by themselves without any supervision. What’s to say they’ll ever come back and if they are deemed ‘sane’ enough to go out on their own then why are they even institutionalized in the first place?

End of Spoiler Alert!

On a side note, you get a glimpse of Peter Boyle’s naked buttocks and while I’ve mentioned in other reviews of seeing Dabney Coleman’s and Tim Matheson’s bare ass and considering those to be two of the finest, I did feel Boyle’s deserves nomination as being one of the worst.

My Rating: 4 out of 10

Released: April 7, 1989

Runtime: 1 Hour 53 Minutes

Rated PG-13

Director: Howard Zieff

Studio: Universal

Available: DVD, Blu-ray, Amazon Video, YouTube

 

3 Comments

Posted in 80's Movies, Comedy, Movies that take place in the Big Apple, Movies with a Hospital setting, Movies with Nudity, Road Movies

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Stripes (1981)

Posted on February 9, 2026 | 5 comments

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 5 out of 10

4-Word Review: Losers join the army.

John (Bill Murray) works as a cab driver but is getting tired of putting up with obnoxious passengers. He sees an ad on TV about joining the army and convinces his friend Russell (Harold Ramis), who’s also unhappy with his line of work, to take up the offer. The two though find basic training to be far tougher than they thought particularly under the command of drill instructor Sergeant Hulka (Warren Oates) of which John doesn’t get along with and they end up having a one and one confrontation while inside the toiletries.

It seems amazing while watching this movie now how much things have changed as at the time this was considered a ‘raunchy’ flick, but in retrospect outside of a brief minute of flashing tits, and a mud wrestling segment, is very tame and PG rated material. It also goes very soft on the army aspect. This was shot during the era when there was still simmering discontent with the Vietnam War, which had just ended five years earlier and it was hip in many films of the era to poke fun of the military and yet this film doesn’t really do that. Sure, there are some over-the-top characters like Larroquettes, but overall, it’s surprising balanced portrait where if anything it’s Murray that learns the hard lesson that it’s best to keep your mouth shut, or pay the price, in this case the ever-mounting number of push-ups he’s forced to do when he smarts off. In some ways it’s a good portrait of what happens when differing personalities clash and how the ones that are more disciplined, or those that learn to take it on, ultimately win out.

Murray is as always highly engaging and his smug, party boy persona never seems to get old, but the story was originally intended for Cheech and Chong who could’ve been even funnier. My main complaint with Murray is he doesn’t really change and remains the same glib slacker that he was at the beginning though I did like the moment he gets punched in the stomach by Oates, which for Murray was his very first dramatic bit. The opening segment though in which he drives his cab erratically through the city streets in an effort to ‘get back’ at a crabby passenger (played by Fran Ryan) gets overdone as it put other innocent drivers at risk and would’ve gotten him arrested. Also, he and Ramis should’ve had their hair cut just as short as the other recruits as the army is all about uniformity and no one gets any special break.

Ramis is splendid in support even though director Ivan Reitman didn’t want to hire him due to Harold’s lack of acting experience and that his audition didn’t go well, but with Murray’s insistence he came on board and it’s a good thing. Mainly because he doesn’t compete with Murray for laughs, and in fact isn’t clownish at all and thus making him the most relatable. Oates is solid too though nowhere near the intensity that R. Lee Emery would’ve been, but still I liked his nervous facial tics. However, his character gets injured at one point and then gets seen with bandages around his arms and hands, but then during the third act these all disappear and he’s perfectly fine again, but I felt for the sake of continuity he should’ve remained bandaged.

I enjoyed too that the women here aren’t portrayed as bubble-headed beach blondes, but instead sensible people who aren’t afraid to be in control as evidenced by P.J. Soles and Sean Young, who looks really cute and was apparently cast simply for her looks alone. My only complaint though is that as Military Police they should’ve remained with the upper hand all the way through. Not letting down their guard and ultimately allowing the men to take charge. There still could’ve been the flirting and sex, but with the women calling the shots and the men playing along.

In support it’s fun seeing the young faces of up-and-coming stars including Conrad Dunn, who later became famous for his work in the soap opera ‘Days of Our Lives’, as a guy named Francis who threatens to do violence to anyone who dares call him that as well as Joe Flaherty as an inept border guard, Judge Reinhold as a would be drug smuggler and Timothy Busfield, in his film debut and looking downright boyish, as a soldier who fires a misguided mortar shell.

John Larroquette is quite good too in his first major role, in fact I felt the scene where he’s playing with toy soldiers inside his office to be the funniest moment. Unfortunately, his egotistical personality doesn’t get played up enough as I would’ve liked to have seen a showdown between him and Murray, which never happens. Also, his date looked too much like Murray’s former girlfriend, and I actually thought it was the same women, and they should’ve cast one as a brunette and the other a blonde, so we could’ve told the difference.

Spoiler Alert!

I was ready to give this 7 points, but the third act, which director Reitman later described as ‘an embarrassment’, ruins it.  While I’m all for giving the thing some action the way it goes about it is all wrong. Initially I thought it would be the other recruits going to war against Murray and Ramis under the mistaken impression that they were spies after they absconded with the top-secret van, but instead they go up against the Czechoslovakian army, which came off as too easy. These were still amateurs when it came to using weapons and technology and yet they’re able to blow up the bad guys with pinpoint presession until it becomes boring and anti-climactic where if they had been more bumbling about it, it would’ve been both realistic and funnier.

My Rating: 5 out of 10

Released: June 26, 1981

Runtime: 1 Hour 46 Minutes

Rated R

Director: Ivan Reitman

Studio: Columbia Pictures

Available: DVD, Blu-ray, Amazon, YouTube

 

 

 

5 Comments

Posted in 80's Movies, Comedy, Movies that take place in the South, Movies with Nudity

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Bachelor Party (1984)

Posted on January 22, 2026 | 4 comments

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 7 out of 10

4-Word Review: Wild night before marriage.

Rick (Tom Hanks) has decided to settle down and get married to Debbie (Tawny Kitaen) after years of being a party animal. Debbie’s parents (George Grizzard, Barbara Stuart) do not approve of the impending union and enlist the help of Cole (Robert Prescott), Debbie’s former boyfriend, to try and break it up by attempting to win Debbie back. Meanwhile, Rick’s friend Jay (Adrian Zmed) decides to throw Rick a lavish bachelor party by renting out a hotel room, but things soon get completely out of control.

This was pinnacle of the crude 80’s movies where the comedy emphasis was on the vulgar and shocking and while there were plenty of films before and after that had the same format this one is probably the best. A lot of the reason for it is that it has four different scenarios working in tandem that eventually converge into one at the end. Cutting away to the different plotlines and characters helps keep the pace breezy and doesn’t make the story come off quite as one dimensional as with other crude comedies. There are some genuinely funny moments especially the ending sequence that features Rick getting into a fistfight with Cole in front of a movie screen showing a film and theater goers think it’s simply a part of the 3-D effects.

Yet as popular as this movie was, and I was around when it came out where it was a huge hit, you cannot find it streaming anywhere, which is initially baffling. However, when you go back and watch it, I hadn’t seen it since it was released, you can kind of see why as the humor is quite un-PC especially by today’s standards. A good example is at the beginning when Jay, who works as a child photographer, has a mother with big bosoms come in with her kid and he manages to ‘trick’ her into posing in provocative ways, which is something that only happens in a guy’s fantasy world. A woman with big breasts is well aware that it attracts men, so she would immediately recognized Jay’s not so subtle come-ons right away, might even be expecting it as most likely many guys before having done the same thing, and wouldn’t be so naive.

The male strip joint sequence that the ladies attend is kind of dumb too. It features one of the male strippers putting his penis on a tray between some hot dog buns and then ‘serving it up’ to Debbie’s mother (Stuart). However, nobody in their right mind would want to put their sexual organ up to a stranger for them to grab. What if they stretched, or scratched it? It’s making it too vulnerable to injury and if it does get injured could they sue, or because they literally shoved the thing in the woman’s face, would they be considered liable? No idea why Stuart’s hand seems to get ‘stuck’ with it either, but that’s another issue.

While Hanks is engaging his character is a bit over-the-top. He acts very juvenile when with the parents to the extent that I actually sided with the dad as I wouldn’t want my daughter marrying a complete clown like that either. You’d think if he wanted to impress the parents, he’d try to be more serious and upstanding. Had the film done it this way and the father still rejected him then you could sympathize with Hanks, but here his goofing around just makes things worse.

Hanks complete ambivalence in regard to his friend Brad (Bradford Bancroft) who threatens to kill himself and even attempts it, but Hanks blows it off like it’s ‘no big deal’ makes him seem like he doesn’t care about what’s now considered a very serious issue. He also, at a later point, dangles Cole out a hotel window several stories up with nothing more than bed sheets, which is quite dangerous because if the guy slips out of them, he’ll fall and die and thus putting Hanks and his pals on the hook for reckless homicide.

The worst part in the movie, and again I did like it overall, but I feel it’s important to get the negative aspects of it addressed, is the donkey scene. I’m not sure why the donkey was brought to the party, I guess so the lady stripper could perform bestiality, which is both illegal and very unsexy, but having it perish after ingesting a lot of drugs that had been laying around is sad. Then having its dead body show up in an elevator makes it even sadder. Granted they didn’t actually kill a real donkey, but the just the idea is terrible and if anything, they should’ve had the donkey live and run all through the hotel where it would scare the guests and staff, which would’ve been funnier.

My Rating: 7 out of 10

Released: June 29, 1984

Runtime: 1 Hour 45 Minutes

Rated R

Director: Neal Israel

Studio: 20th Century Fox

Available: DVD, Blu-ray

4 Comments

Posted in 80's Movies, Crude Comedy, Movies with a Hotel setting, Movies with Nudity

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