Tag Archives: Spalding Gray

Seven Minutes in Heaven (1986)

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 4 out of 10

4-Word Review: Two teens live together.

This review is brought to you by request from ‘somebody’ who also requested that I review Times Square and Uncle Buck, which I will do in the preceding weeks. This one though, while starring several up-and-coming young stars is strangely obscure as the only place to find it streaming is on YouTube and while it does have a DVD issue it’s not on Blu-ray and even more shockingly is not listed in Leonard Maltin’s Movie Listings.

The story revolves around Natalie (Jennifer Connelly) who is left alone for a period of time while her father (Micheal Zaslow) is away on business. While he’s gone she allows her friend Jeff (Byron Thames) to move in since he’s having issues with his stepfather (Marshall Bell). Natalie though is not into him romantically as she’s got a crush on James (Alan Casey) that Natalie’s friend Polly (Maddie Corman) is also into. Polly is initially upset when James goes after Natalie instead of her, but she gets over that when she meets Zoo (Billy Wirth) a male model and professional baseball player.  She even flies all the way out to New York in order to hook-up with him during a baseball series that he is playing there.

On one hand this has a lot of pleasing elements. It’s different from most 80’s teen flicks in that it’s not vulgar, or raucous.  The main character isn’t some mindless, sex starved teen who immediately jumps into the sack with Jeff when he moves in, which is nice. She doesn’t even let a cute guy kiss her, who she is into, when she meets him during aa trip to Washington D.C. She’s quite sensible, as are her friends for the most part, and these characters come-off more like young adults in the making than cartoonish caricatures of out-of-control party animals with no limits like in most other adolescent films from that era.

On the flip side the adults didn’t seem too believable. Her father leaving a teen alone for what seems to be weeks and never bothers to call, or check-in on her seemed hard to fathom. Jeff’s parents behaved in an equally confounding way. They just let him run off and make only feeble attempts to try and ‘win’ him back, but I would think they’d become more assertive when they realized he was living with another teen of the opposite sex unchaperoned, which could presumably lead to unwanted pregnancy, so since he’s under 18, and he certainly looks like he is (he was in fact 15 when this was shot), they’d have the right to demand he come back, or get the authorities involved versus just sitting back and acting like they’re helpless to do much of anything.

I thought Polly’s ‘romance’ with Zoo was a bit off too. For one thing he’s supposedly an adult playing in the major leagues, so hooking up with a teen would be inappropriate. Yes, he does ‘ask her’ if she’s 18 and she does say that she is, but she looks much, much younger (she was 14 when it was filmed), so he should’ve known that she was lying. Of course, maybe he did and didn’t care, but that should’ve been confirmed either way.

The segment though where Polly gets arrested while at the ball game and is hauled away by the cops only to have Bill (Terry Kinney), the team photographer, intervene by pretending to know her to keep her out of trouble is when this thing really jumps-the-shark. If he had some perverse underlying motives, like he wanted to force himself on her sexually when he brought her back to his place, which certainly wouldn’t be good, but at least make some sense, I might’ve understood it, but instead that’s not the case. He brings her to his apartment and then insists she call her parents while allowing her to stay their temporarily, but why do this? What’s in it for him? Does he do this same thing for everybody when he sees them getting arrested? This could also prove to be dangerous for him as well. What’s to say she wouldn’t vandalize his place, or sneak in and steal his credit cards, or money out of his wallet when he’s asleep? Why would anybody want to take such a risk for somebody that they didn’t know? If he had been a teen counselor working with runways/delinquents then it might’ve worked, but the way the scenario gets portrayed here is just downright wacky.

I did like though that the film does bring out an underlying jealousy that Polly has towards Natalie and this causes her to become vindictive. Most other teen movies don’t do it this way. If there’s a ‘mean girl’ involved she’s already the enemy at the beginning, but in reality, friendships, even close ones, can have their share of rivalries and can become strained especially at that age. So, the movie scores on that level, but then ruins it by having them instantaneously become chums again when they bump into each other at the airport without any scene showing them talking through their feelings, which should’ve been necessary.

Connelly is terrific and I enjoyed the moments where she imagines herself as an adult character inside an old ‘B’ movie as well as the scene where she fantasizes of slapping the Vice President across the face, but it gets confusing who the main protagonist is supposed to be. Corman, as Polly, gets almost as much screen time and in certain ways goes through more of a change.

In either case I didn’t find any of to be very involving. The fall scenery is pleasant, and teens are inoffensive, but the storyline is too serene. There was potential for a lot more drama and comedy and the scenarios should’ve been played up more. It starts out cute but becomes increasingly more benign as it goes and completely flat lines by the third act.

My Rating: 3 out of 10

Released: May 9, 1986

Runtime: 1 Hour 28 Minutes

Rated PG-13

Director: Linda Feferman

Studio: Warner Brothers

Available: DVD, YouTube

 

 

True Stories (1986)

true stories

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 4 out of 10

4-Word Review: Eccentric people of Texas.

David Byrne the founder member of the influential Talking Heads rock group tries his hand at filmmaking, which to date has been his only directorial foray of a feature film and not including two documentaries that he did in the late 80’s and early 90’s. This film centers on weird characters that were inspired from tabloid magazine stories and the list of eccentric people include The Lazy Woman (Swoosie Kurtz) who is so rich that she never needs to get out of bed and has a wide array of servants or robotic hands to help her do everything. There is also John Goodman as a single man desperately seeking a mate, Jo Harvey Allen as a chronic lying woman and Alix Elias as The Cute Woman.

The film starts out with promise. Byrne focuses on interesting symmetrical designs and colors. I also liked how every other shot seems to focus on the vast flat emptiness of the Texas landscape as well as showing rows and rows of steel sheds something that no other filmmaker would think of doing, which helps give this a unique vision. The humor is consistently offbeat and amusing with my favorite moment coming during a fashion show where the runway models are shown to wear increasingly more outlandish outfits all to the excitement of an enthusiastic audience. Byrne’s parody of driving his car in front of a blue screen is also quite funny.

Goodman is a delight not only when he gets behind the microphone and sings ‘People Like Us’, but also his TV-ad looking for eligible women. Kurtz is quite funny too especially with her entranced look while watching banal and inane TV-shows. Spalding Gray adds a good presence and the scene where he tries to create the layout of a town while using food at a dinner table is great.

Unfortunately the film ends up being a misfire mainly because it has no real plot to speak of. The quirky ideas and goofy characters are wasted in a directionless movie that goes nowhere. Certain innovative touches like having a group of children coming out of an empty field to sing a song become confusing and pointless. Byrne’s own presence as an onscreen narrator quickly loses it welcome and eventually becomes annoying. It manages to come together a little during the last half-hour with some much needed cohesion, but it is not enough to save it.

My Rating: 4 out of 10

Released: October 10, 1986

Runtime: 1Hour 30Minutes

Rated  PG

Director: David Byrne

Studio: Warner Brothers

Available: VHS, DVD, Amazon Instant Video

Clara’s Heart (1988)

claras heart

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 3 out of 10

4-Word Review: Clara dispenses her wisdom.

Leona (Kathleen Quinlan) is spending some time at a Jamaican resort trying to recuperate from the sudden loss of her infant daughter. There she meets Clara (Whoopi Goldberg) who is working as a maid there. The two quickly strike up a friendship and Leona then hires Clara to come home with her and take care of her 10-year-old son David (Neil Patrick Harris). David does not like Clara at first, but the two eventually attain a strong bond especially after his parent’s divorce.

After some box office failures with her comical films Goldberg decided to go back to doing drama with so-so results. The whole way that Clara gets hired on as a nanny seems awkward, forced and too quick and screenwriter Mark Medoff should have thought up a better scenario. Clara isn’t completely likable as she has a pushy personality and dispenses her opinions on her employers whether they ask for it or not. Eventually David’s father Bill (Michael Ontkean) stands up to her, but I think others would have confronted her sooner or even fired her.

The runtime is much too long for such slight and predictable material. The whole second half gets consumed with this deep dark secret about the death of Clara’s son Robbie and when she does finally tell David the story it is a nasty one especially for a supposedly ‘family friendly’ film such as this one. It also brings out the question that if Clara raised a son that was so very troubled why then would she be so confident about knowing how to raise someone else’s?

Harris is outstanding in his film debut and really helps to carry the movie along. The sarcastic and glib comments that he spews out is the film’s highlight.  The big glasses that he wears seemed too reminiscent to the Corey Haim character in Lucas, which came out just a couple of years before this one. I was also confused why during a school swim meet he would be the only one wearing a T-shirt when all the other swimmers weren’t.

Spalding Gray appears in support as Leona’s new boyfriend. The script though does not take advantage of Gray’s unique talents and the film would have been better served had they allowed him to ad-lib and improvise.  Also, the woman who plays Bill’s new love interest looks too much like Leona and in a visual medium such as this it is usually better to emphasize contrast.

The production values are good and I loved the large home that David’s family lives in and the by-the-lake location. However, the material is too formulaic and Clara’s and David’s bonding sessions become strained and corny. The film’s ‘feel-good’ message is lost in an approach that is sterile, mechanical, and by-the-numbers.

My Rating: 3 out of 10

Released: October 7, 1988

Runtime: 1Hour 48Minutes

Rated PG-13

Director: Robert Mulligan

Available: VHS, Amazon Instant Video