Tag Archives: Marc Lawrence

Pigs! (1973)

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 3 out of 10

4-Word Review: Humans fed to pigs.

Lynn (Toni Lawrence) arrives at a remote roadside diner that is run by Zambrini (Marc Lawrence). No one knows her past and she’s highly evasive about it when asked. She gets a job there and sleeps in a back room unaware that the pigs that Zambrini keeps out back are into human meat and anyone that crosses him gets fed to them. Will Lynn be their next meal, or does she harbor a few dark plans of her own?

The film was a family project of noted character actor Marc Lawrence who had been acting in films in supporting roles since the early 1030’s.  He wrote the script along with his wife, Fanya Foss, and it was meant to help their daughter Toni break into the acting business by showcasing her talents. When no studio was willing to produce it, he took out a second mortgage on his home in order to get it financed and then directed it himself.

I remember first watching this way back when I was in college and it was shown on cable TV as a late Saturday night entry of a bad movie night where panned films would get broadcast that would otherwise have little or no interest. At the time it came off as having no plot just a lot of meandering scenes that went nowhere. Watching it now uncut via streaming it works a bit better, but only slightly. There’s still a lot of moments that have no connection to the main story.  One in particular has Marc entering a home lived in by two old ladies (Catherine Ross, Iris Korn) and talking to them in a creepy manner while wearing clown make-up, but nothing ever comes of it. They go on living there and he goes on caring of his pigs, so why was this moment even put in. Was it supposed to be a dream sequence and if so, what was the point of it?

I did like the remote location, which was filmed in Ventura County, California near the Los Padres National Forest. There’s just something about being in the middle of nowhere that helps accentuate the fear. These people have only themselves and their wits to count on, but then it also begs the question; if they are truly cut off where do these customers that frequent the diner come from?

The main problem is more with the script that gives too much away. I don’t know if the tension is really helped by us seeing an unnamed victim being fed to the pigs during the opening scene. Constantly alluding to Lynn’s mysterious past hurts it too. It becomes obvious that she’s not stable and thus no surprise later on when her dark side fully comes out where if this had been better disguised it could’ve been mor of a jolt.

The special effects are subpar. The blood looks like paste and whenever someone gets stabbed there’s never any rip in their clothing. A person can’t bleed unless there’s an actual cut in the skin for it to ooze out. The loud noise that the pigs make, which sounds more like a train horn, is annoying and overplayed.

I also found Jesse Vint, who plays the sheriff, to be too inept. With dumb cops like him where all the clues have to be spoon fed into him before he can figure it out, just makes the story weaker because there’s no true adversary for the bad guys who can freely get away with their crimes without much worry of being caught.

Spoiler Alert!

The ‘twist’ ending has an extra pig getting ‘created’ every time a victim is eaten, but how does this happen? Are these pigs’ demons from hell and does evil magic doing the ‘creating’? This needed to be better explained and leaving it wide-open is not much of a payoff.

End of Spoiler Alert!

I will give credit to Marc Lawrence as his acting is engaging. His character doesn’t have that much to do other than standing around looking old and paranoid. The fun though comes with his over-the-top reactions to anyone who gets near his precious pigs and his extreme nervousness which he makes no attempt to cover up. On the flip side his character also becomes sexually attracted to Lynn and there are shots of him gazing at her longingly, which when you factor in that he was her real-life father is kind of creepy and in fact the creepiness thing about the whole movie.

Alternate Title: Daddy’s Deadly Darling

My Rating: 3 out of 10

Released: May 23, 1973

Runtime: 1 Hour 20 Minutes

Rated R

Director: Marc Lawrence

Studio: Ursus Productions

Available: DVD (Out-of-Print), Amazon Video, Screambox, Fawesome, Philo, YouTube

 

 

Goin’ Coconuts (1978)

goin coconuts

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 3 out of 10

4-Word Review: Donny and Marie movie.

Donny and Marie Osmond, the brother and sister act from Utah who had a short-lived variety show on ABC during the late ‘70s, take their act to the big screen in this thinly plotted comedy aimed solely at the kiddies. The story has them flying to Hawaii for a performance, but not before a mysterious Priest (Jack Collins) hands them a necklace. Marie decides to wear it not knowing that it is stolen and wanted by various and competing criminals. Will the non-stop barrage of attempts that the thieves make to get the necklace back end up driving the pair nuts? Will this break up their act or better yet will any of this cause you not to sleep at night?

I think the funniest thing about this flick is that it took two writers to come up with a concept that a 6-year-old could’ve thought up in less than a minute. The script is clearly threadbare material and the forced hijinks and ‘zany’ villains aren’t any better. I realize this is aimed at the younger crowd, so one must measure it in a different way, but even so it doesn’t have enough action or special effects to hold their attention and kids of today will probably have no idea who Donny and Marie are or even care.

I realize the Osmonds have been plagued their whole careers with their ‘goody-goody’ image that at one put even gets made fun of by the Kenneth Mars character, but with that said they’re still quite likable and they really can sing rather well. I liked some of their brother-sister banter and the gender bending scene of having Marie driving a motorcycle. I was also impressed with how mature these two were especially when you consider that Donny was only 20 at the time of filming and Marie was 19.

The recognizable character actors who make up the supporting cast helps a little. This marks the final film appearance for both Ted Cassidy and Khigh Dheigh. In Cassidy’s case I was genuinely surprised to find that he passed away less than 3 months after this film’s release as he appeared quite young and energetic.

Mars does another of his over-the-top caricatures that closely resembles the one he did in The Producers, which should make it old and tiring, but he still manages to somehow keep it fresh and lively. Herb Edelman is fun as the high-strung manager and famous bad guy Marc Lawrence has an amusing bit trying to chase down the pair while driving a car with an old lady passenger.

Osmond fans may rate this slightly better, but there’s very little to recommend and best viewed as a curio on a slow night.

My Rating: 3 out of 10

Released: October 6, 1978

Runtime: 1Hour 36Minutes

Rated PG

Director: Howard Morris

Studio: Osmond Entertainment

Available: VHS, DVD