Category Archives: 80’s Movies

Outland (1981)

Posted on November 28, 2024 | 1 comment

outland

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 6 out of 10

4-Word Review: Deaths at mining outpost.

William (Sean Connery) is a federal marshal assigned to an isolated mining outpost on one of Jupiter’s moons. The outpost, known as Con-Am 27, is supervised by Mark Sheppard (Peter Boyle), who boasts a high productivity from his miners, but this comes at a cost as they seem to be steadily dying-off after suffering from bizarre psychotic episodes. William brings a blood sample of one of the latest victims to Lazarus (Frances Sternhagen), a nurse stationed at the outpost, who runs it through some tests and learns that he had been taking a powerful drug that can allow the men to work long hours at a high rate, but they will eventually burn-out and be driven crazy after about 10-months of use. William learns that Sheppard is fully aware of the drug use and allows it since it helps his workers achieve high results while also paying-off the police authorities to keep quiet. William refuses to go along with this and openly challenges the status quo of the space station causing Sheppard to call-in two assassins who’ll arrive on the latest shuttle and dispose of William unless he’s able to kill them first.

The film was inspired by writer/director Peter Hyams’ desire to make a western, but was advised by studio execs that westerns were no longer profitable, but sci-fi movies dealing with outer space were, so he decided to switch the setting of High Noon, a famous western starring Gary Cooper, to that of a space station, but otherwise kept many of the story elements from that one intact. The response by critics at the time was mixed with some labeling the effort as ‘trite’ while others, like critic Desmond Ryan of the Philadelphia Inquirer calling it ‘scarier than Alien, which I found funny since that one has gone on to be a timeless classic while this is largely forgotten.

The film does score when it approaches the human factor like greed and the way management can and will exploit the workforce if it’s able and the resentment and apathy workers can have towards their jobs, which even if it’s in some distant future could still most likely be reoccurring elements that will go on no matter what the time period. The look of the space station, particularly from the outside, is cool and I enjoyed the way the film replicates the ominous silence of space especially at the beginning.

Some other futuristic effects don’t work as well like the way the computers feel the need to make little beepy noises every time it prints out a word, or message, which may have seemed high tech at the time, but is now antiquated. The television screens display the old tube models while today we have the flat HD variety making this ‘future’ seen here seem more like the past. There’s also plentiful shots of people openly smoking in meeting rooms, but since second-hand smoke was proven to cause lung cancer and outlawed now, more people vape anyways, then why would it have been brought back in the future?

Connery shouldn’t have to explain why he’s going up against this evil conglomerate when no one else will help him, as the viewer should be able to surmise this on their own, which shows how poorly fleshed-out his character is. Having him rebuff his son’s and wife’s request to come back to earth with them because he has something to ‘prove’ unintentionally works against his likability as it makes him seem selfish versus noble. Would’ve been better had his wife left him on bad terms, maybe because for example he was an alcoholic, or too focused on his job, and thus with nothing else to lose he decides to prove to himself he can do at least something right by taking down the bad guys since he’s essentially failed at everything else. The audience would’ve been more emotionally invested in his quandary if he had nowhere else to turn, instead of here where he technically does have an option.

Sternhagen is an interesting choice for the female lead in that she’s not the proverbial young and attractive heroine like viewers have come to expect in Hollywood action flicks. Had she been more romantically enticing that might’ve made the viewer dislike William, particularly if he acted upon his emotions, since he was already married, so to avoid any possible conflict they made the lady character older and sarcastic and thus not somebody to typically fall in love with. While I appreciated the concept of having two people work together without it leading into a sexual escapade, which becomes a cliche in itself, I still felt it was hard to fathom that she’d be the only one at this outpost that would offer him assistance. The work crew wasn’t real happy with management especially finding out that they were fed a drug meant to ultimately kill them, so I’d think there would be some of them who would want to help William take down their oppressive employer, which would’ve also helped it add a wrinkle to the High Noon formula, which it otherwise follows too closely to the point that it becomes predictable and redundant.

While I did like the shoot-out that happens in the giant greenhouse, which visually is impressive due to its vast largeness, I did feel overall the assassins weren’t interesting. We barely see their faces and they come-off as being no different than the other workers already at the station and this lack of distinction makes them forgettable. Initially I thought William wouldn’t be able to know which ones coming off the shuttle, as there are quite a few people who disembark it, were the killers, so there would be added suspense of him being unclear of who exactly was after him, but this quickly gets answered when William can see via circuit cameras the two men taking out their weapons, which ruins what could’ve been an added mystery. Ultimately, I felt the assassins shouldn’t have been human, but instead an indestructible killer robot, which would’ve kept it more in the space age realm and given it added excitement and special effects.

My Rating: 6 out of 10

Released: May 22, 1981

Runtime: 1 Hour 49 Minutes

Rated R

Director: Peter Hyams

Studio: Warner Brothers

Available: DVD, Blu-ray, Amazon Video, YouTube

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Posted in 80's Movies, Movies with Nudity, Police Drama, Sci-Fi

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Going Ape! (1981)

Posted on November 20, 2024 | Leave a comment

goingape

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 0 out of 10

4-Word Review: He inherits three orangutans.

Foster (Tony Danza) is an outcast in his family because when he grew up, he did not get involved in the family’s circus business. Now that his father has died, he’s set to inherit nothing and everything left to his greedy sisters, at least that’s what he presumes. Instead, he’s given custody of three orangutans that were part of his father’s circus business. If he can care for them for 5-years and none of them dies he’s set to inherit the $5 million estate. Foster takes on the challenge, but his live-in girlfriend Cynthia (Stacey Nelkin) doesn’t care for it and moves-out while Foster spends the rest of the time trying to win her back. He also becomes menaced by a couple of mafia-styled hitmen (Art Metrano, Frank Sivero) who want to kidnap the apes and do harm to them because if just one of them dies then the entire fortune would go to the zoo.

In 1977 Jeremy Joe Kronsberg was a struggling writer who had only one writing credit to his name, penning an episode to the short-lived series ‘Code R’. He sent out a script called Every Which Way But Loose, that all the studios rejected it as they considered the storyline and comedy be inane and silly. However, by chance Clint Eastwood came upon it and to the surprise of many decided to take it on as his next vehicle. He had been looking to do a comedy in order to broaden his appeal and thought this script would achieve that despite the advice from his agent and production staff who all insisted it would be a bad idea. The movie managed to make a ton at the box office, which convinced Hollywood studio heads and producers alike that maybe this Kronsberg guy, which they had all considered to be a hack writer, ‘had something’ that they just didn’t see and therefore his next script, no matter how bad it may seem, was going to be automatically green-lit and what’s more he’d even be given the offer to direct it.

It was like the Hollywood dream. The little guy that everybody thought had no talent was suddenly the overnight success story, but like with a lot of Hollywood dreams, it didn’t end so well. This movie became both a critical and box office bomb and lead any potential future offers that Kronsberg may have had thrown off the table. Though he’s still alive today, at the ripe old age of 87, he never got another script or teleplay sold and his entire Hollywood ‘career’ ended up being nothing more than a 3-year flash.

The film starts out alright. I actually chuckled at the Danza character cutting-off splinters from his wood desk and trying to sell it as pieces of Babe Ruth’s bat, but the quirkiness of the beginning gets overtaken by the orangutans, which I found ugly and obnoxious. Their rotted teeth alone are disgusting to look at and every time they open their mouths it’s more unsettling than peering into a hillbilly’s. They were trained  by then world famous Bobby Berosini, a Czech born immigrant who became a famous orangutan trainer that began to do stage shows with them in Las Vega during the 70’s, but then in 1988 a Vegas dancer secretly recorded him abusing the apes, including slapping and punching them, before going onstage and when it was sent to PETA it became available to the public and his career and image took a massive downfall.

The stupid villains, which are nothing more than a hammy, cliched send-up from the Godfather movies, are pathetic and the point where the movie really goes downhill. Their pratfalls are dumber than something you’d see in a kiddie flick and devolve the film into the inanest level possible. It’s also chillingly prophetic as Metrano, who plays the head-honcho, is seen twice falling from a lofty height including once out of high-rise window, which had a creepy similarity to his real-life accident in 1989 when he fell from a ladder and became paralyzed.

Danza is likable enough, but I found his character to be ridiculous with the way he put up with the apes even as they tore-up his apartment and kind of felt he should’ve given-up on them just like his girlfriend did and came to the conclusion the money wasn’t worth the hassle and just pawned them off on somebody else, or even given them away to the zoo who seemed so desperate for the fortune. Despite winning the Razzie award for his performance I really felt it was DeVito, who speaks in an accent, that was the scene-stealer and had he been made the star it might’ve worked better.

Nelkin is cute, so she gets a few points there, and Walter has great potential as her snobby mother, but unfortunately her services here get greatly misused as she soon sides with Danza and his cause instead of working against him and becoming the chief villainess of which she would’ve been great.

There are some reviewers on IMDb who proudly insist that this is ‘the greatest movie ever made’, but I feel they are either desperate for attention and will say any outrageous thing to get it, or haven’t seen any of the timeless classics, so that they really don’t know what they’re talking about. In either case this is a bad movie that will harbor very little enjoyment to anyone who sees it whether they’re young or old. Yes, there’s a big smash-up car chase at the end, but this is just thrown-in to camouflage the lack of originality in the story.

My Rating: 0 out of 10

Released: April 10, 1981

Runtime: 1 Hour 27 Minutes

Rated PG

Director: Jeremy Joe Kronsberg

Studio: Paramount

Available: Blu-ray, Amazon Video, YouTube

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One From the Heart (1982)

Posted on November 17, 2024 | Leave a comment

oneheart

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 2 out of 10

4-Word Review: Break-up/make-up

Hank (Frederic Forrest) and Frannie (Teri Garr) have been together for 5-years but while celebrating their anniversary at home the cracks in their relationship begin to show. Frannie is upset that they can never go out and wants more adventure. Hank doesn’t see this as a problem, so the two break up. Frannie meets Ray (Raul Julia) a waiter who has ambitions to become a singer. Hank gets together with Leila (Nastassja Kinski) who is much younger than him and lives the fast lifestyle. Each spends a night with their new partner, but end-up longing for their former mates when it’s over. Ray offers to take Frannie to Bora Bora, but will she really board the plane, or will Hank catch-up with her in time and convince her to move back with him?

The movie has a weird look about it and this is mainly because director Francis Ford Coppola decided he wanted to film the entire thing on the soundstage of his Zoetrope studios. This in retrospect seemed absurd as the setting was Las Vegas with one of the most flamboyant downtowns of any city, so if the real thing is already visually arresting why trump it with a fake one that isn’t half as exciting? The artificial presence kills the movie from the very start and what’s worse is that it was so painstakingly expensive to create the set design, which is massive, that it sent Coppola and his studio into bankruptcy of which it took many years to recover and all of it wouldn’t have been necessary if they had just shot it on-location, which would’ve been a thousand times better.

The lighting is one of the more annoying aspects particularly the red light that shines through the couple’s home window making it look like they live in the red-light district of Denmark, or near a police station. The outdoor scenes look as phony as you’d expect including having the night sky shown to have a ‘ceiling’ and the distant mountain vistas appearing as nothing more than a cheap matted on paintings. Everything comes-off as loopy like a great director whose ego got the best of him, and he made a massive artistic overreach for no other purpose then just to see if he could. The music interludes by Crystal Gayle and Tom Waits don’t work either. If a movie is intended to be a musical, as this one kind of is, then each song needs to sound distinct and at least moderately peppy, but here it comes-off like the same droning song that just never ends and adds little to the already goofy set-up.

The characters are poorly fleshed-out and, with the modest exception of Harry Dean Stanton and Elia Kazan, wholly uninteresting. The break-up is the biggest problem as the ‘squabble’ appears to be over nothing more than the fact that Hank didn’t take Frannie out on their anniversary, but to move-out because of something like that seems awfully trite. Normally for relationships/marriages to go really bad there needs to be a lot of anger simmering underneath the surface and this thing at best is just a tiff especially when at the beginning they seemed content with other. To make it realistic there should’ve been clear underlining animosity right away and not go from ‘happy couple’ to break-up with a snap-of-the-finger.

Not sure either if it’s exactly possible to get back together after the other partner has slept with someone else. Granted there could be some exceptions, but most people would consider it an extreme betrayal and unforgivable and certainly not something that they could just conveniently forget about and return back to the ‘happy couple’ that they were. Yes, in this instance they both cheated, but that makes things even worse. Who’s to say you can ever trust the other again? If one tiny disagreement can get each one to suddenly jump in the arms of a perfect stranger what’s to say that won’t get repeated in the future?

Garr, who appears topless in several scenes and even fully naked from the back in one moment, is okay. The supporting cast is also good especially Allen Garfield as Julia’s perturbed boss. I even found Kinski a bit mesmerizing with her singing and the way she was able to balance herself on a big orange ball that used to be the sign for the Spirit of 76 gas stations, but overall the thing is so thinly plotted, with too much emphasis being put on the garish set design, that it can all be summed up as a hopeless experiment gone wrong. Even Coppola has admitted in subsequent interviews that it’s a ‘total mess’, so if the director is warning you that his own movie doesn’t have much going for it, you’d better listen.

My Rating: 2 out of 10

Released: February 11, 1982

Runtime: 1 Hour 39 Minutes

Rated R

Director: Francis Ford Coppola

Studio: Columbia Pictures

Available: DVD, Blu-ray, Amazon Video, YouTube

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Animal Behavior (1989)

Posted on November 11, 2024 | Leave a comment

animal

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 4 out of 10

4-Word Review: Cellist falls for biologist.

Alex (Karen Allen) is a biologist employed at a university where she is researching on finding new ways to communicate with chimpanzees including the use of sign language but finding it challenging in getting any funding. Mark (Armand Assante) works at the same school as an orchestra instructor. He meets Alex by chance and while their first encounter is awkward, he immediately takes an interest in her and tries to pursue a relationship. Alex is so involved in her work that she doesn’t pick-up on Mark’s advances initially and then when she does, she comes under the mistaken impression that he’s married which causes her to avoid him and making Mark believe that she doesn’t like him when deep down she really does.

The film, which has never been released on either DVD or streaming and can only be obtained from a very rare VHS print, is more known for its behind-the-scenes troubles than anything that goes on in front of the camera. The main issue was the squabbling, or ‘creative differences’ between director Jenny Brown and the producer Kjehl Rasmussen causing her to leave the project, which began filming in 1984. The production then ran out of money forcing it to be shelved for many years in an unfinished state before Rasmussen was able to receive enough funding to complete it with him as the director. However, out of its initial $3.5 million budget it was only able, after its limited release, to recoup a paltry $41, 526 at the box office making it a huge financial loss. It also came-out 4 years after one of its stars, Alexa Kenin who plays a not very talented cello student, died mysteriously at the young age of 23 for causes that are still unknown to this day.

Despite all of its production problems I came away finding it not too bad and enjoyed the orchestral score and the giant animated musical notes that appear during the opening credits as well as the vast New Mexico landscape. Assante is an interesting casting choice as he plays the romantic lead not in a lovesick way but approaches it instead in more as a matter-of-fact type, which you’d expect a person working in Academia might do. I did though find his ability to handle chimps as relaxed and comfortable was a bit of a missed opportunity as having him afraid of them, which is what I think most people would be like, would’ve given their young relationship more of a challenge to work through and thus more intrigue to the story.

His inability to every criticize Sheila, played by Kenin, who is a very poor cello player, made him in-turn come-off as a failure of a teacher. Granted the film wanted the viewer to like the Assante character and if his criticism of her playing was too harsh it might make them turn-on him, but the guy is her teacher and not her friend. A friend is someone that doesn’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings, but a teacher is paid to get to the source of the problem. If he is just going to allow this student to leave in a delusion that she’s a competent then when is she ever going to get better, or be motivated to improve? A good teacher is obligated to call a student’s attention to their shortcomings and by avoiding doing this he comes-off as weak and ineffective.

While Allen’s performance is also good, I had some problems with why Assante would want to get into a relationship with her. It’s clear from the get-go that she’s so into her chimps that she’s out of touch with everything else around her. Why pursue someone romantically who’s always going to put her monkeys first and make him have to constantly compete with them for her attention?

A far better love interest would’ve been Coral that gets played by Holly Hunter who is an absolute scene-stealer and gives the movie some much needed spunk. This was before she won the Academy Award, so her role is limited, but she still makes the most of it playing a single mother with an autistic child, played by Crystal Buda. She is a neighbor to Assante and the two get into a quasi-style relationship though they don’t have any sex, but I didn’t know why she didn’t want to pursue further past the friendship level as they seemed quite compatible and it would’ve allowed in more drama forcing both her and Allen to compete for the same man, which could’ve lead to some juicy confrontations.

Josh Mostel, as Assante’s friend, is fun, not so much for anything he says, but more for his big white-guy afro. The climactic sequence, which takes place in a large scale maze made out of hay bails is diverting simply because it’s never been used before, or since. However, the characterizations of the University faculty, who are portrayed as being stiff, uptight, while also a bit ‘wacky’ is too broad to be either amusing or insightful.

My Rating: 4 out of 10

Released: October 27, 1989

Runtime: 1 Hour 28 Minutes

Rated PG

Director: Jenny Brown

Studio: CineStar Productions

Available: VHS, DVD-R (dvdlady.com)

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Posted in 80's Movies, College Life, Comedy, Obscure Movies, Romance

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Uphill All the Way (1986)

Posted on November 5, 2024 | Leave a comment

uphill

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 2 out of 10

4-Word Review: Bumbling cowboy con-men.

Ben (Roy Clark) and Booger (Mel Tillis) are two con-men living in the old west, who don’t have a dime between them. After getting kicked-off a train for not having tickets they then venture to a saloon in order to win some money at poker, but even though they attempt to cheat, they still end up losing. In desperation they try to trade in their rifle for a loan, but the bank teller (Richard Paul) mistakenly thinks they’re trying to hold him up and sounds the alarm. The two then go on the run while being chased by a posse of sorts that includes the sheriff (Burl Ives) two prostitutes (Elaine Joyce, Jacque Lynn Colton) and the town drunk (Frank Gorshin).

The film is a misguided effort to replicate the campy, rural humor of the TV-show ‘Hee-Haw’, which Roy Clark hosted for almost 17years and which Mel Tillis made several guest appearances, and try to turn it into something resembling a movie. While the show never met any critical acclaim it still managed to succeed because all the humor, much of it being ribald and corny, was set-up into brief segments that only lasted for a few minutes if even that long and relied almost exclusively on one-liners. As soon as the punchline was uttered it would quickly move to another segment much like the variety show ‘Laugh-In’ was styled. However, trying to expand that format and silly comedy into a feature length film is virtually unworkable. Instead of a plot we get a collection of goofy situations coupled with goofy characters saying and doing cartoonish things that gets strung along with a mind numbing 90-minutes before it finally, mercifully manages to end much like putting a sick horse out of its misery.

Had the chemistry between the two stars been better it might’ve had some chance, but Tilis and Clark, both better known as country singers of which they’re very good at, don’t have what it takes to carry a movie. I was thankful at least that Tillis didn’t rely on his old stuttering routine for cheap laughs and here for the most part he articulates quite well, but he fails to have much to say that is amusing. Clark with his tubby physique coupled with his high-pitched voice seems all wrong for different reasons and his attempts at being exacerbated comes-off as affected. The banter between the two is stale and with both being in their 50’s they lack the fresh boyish charm that they might’ve otherwise been able to exude had they done this when they were in their 20’s.

The supporting cast falls equally flat. Burl Ives looks old and tired here and like he’s just phoning-it-in. Gorshin, a great and versatile talent if given the right material, is completely wasted as a drunk who does and says very little. Trish Van Devere, who during the early 70’s was considered a leading lady, reveals how sadly her career had fallen, she officially retired after doing just one more movie after this one and I think it was because she was no longer getting any quality offers, doesn’t appear until 55-minutes in and almost becomes like a background character with not much to do. Burt Reynolds does appear briefly near the beginning, he apparently accepted no fee for his work here, but is quite amusing and had he been in more scenes might’ve saved it. Elaine Joyce stands-out too as she usually played bubble-headed blondes, but here is a bitchy, angry type and does surprisingly well with it though if she’s going to be the best thing about a movie then you know it must be in real trouble.

The story is disjointed too as it starts out as a playful chase comedy then strangely diverts into an extended shoot-out where the two become hold-up in a home with another family trying to fend-off a group of bad guys that are separate from the ones chasing after them making it seem like two different, poorly realized plots meshed into one. I will give it some credit for being a movie with a Texas setting that was actually filmed in Texas unlike some other movies that say the setting is Texas when it really isn’t. You can tell that it is the Lone Star state because of the prickly pear cactus that is seen all about, which is different from the upright variety that’s seen in the deserts of Arizona and California. Though on the negative end it was shot in the month of October when the searing heat of the region was over and any good Texas movie should have the heat play a factor since that’s very much a strong characteristic of the state.

My Rating: 2 out of 10

Released: January 21, 1986

Runtime: 1 Hour 26 Minutes

Rated PG

Director: Frank Q. Dobbs

Studio: New World Pictures

Available: DVD, Blu-ray, Amazon Video, YouTube

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Posted in 80's Movies, Buddy Movies, Campy Comedy, Movies that take place in Texas, Westerns

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The Nest (1988)

Posted on October 28, 2024 | Leave a comment

nest

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 3 out of 10

4-Word Review: Cockroaches invade small town.

Richard (Franc Luz) is the sheriff of a small New England town, who wakes-up one morning to find cockroaches all over his home. He goes to the airport to pick-up Elizabeth (Lisa Langlios) a former girlfriend who’s also the daughter of Elias (Robert Lansing) the town’s mayor. During her visit they become aware of several dog deaths where the animal’s entire bodies are rapidly eaten raw by some sort of insect that leaves only the bloody carcass of their prey behind. Elias calls-in Dr Morgan (Terri Treas) who specializes in insect research. She soon determines that these are not the normal kind of cockroaches, but instead an engineered species created inside a lab for the purpose of eating off the other insects on the island that the town is on and then promptly dying-off after one generation. Unfortunately, the mutated species found a way to survive and continues to reproduce while being immune to the regular forms of pest control causing the mayor to consider making the difficult decision of having the entire town’s populace vacate the island before the roaches completely take it over.

The film was directed by Terence H. Winkless who up until this time was best known for having done the short film Foster’s Release in 1971 about a stalker who terrorizes a babysitter that later inspired The Sitter, Halloween, and When a Stranger Calls. This film though, his first feature length release, lacks the tension and atmosphere of those. The biggest detriment is the setting as it’s too bright and sunny and horror films work much better when things are dark and gloomy, which creates an eerie feeling that this thing doesn’t have. While it’s supposed to take place in New England it’s very clear that it’s instead California, which is so obvious that it’s almost embarrassing to pretend it’s anything else. If the producers didn’t have the money to shoot it on-location, then they should’ve changed the story’s location to California and chucked the pathetic charade.

The type of insect that gets used isn’t all that scary. I’ve lived in Texas for 10 years now and have seen first-hand cockroaches that seem to invade everyone’s homes down here. These roaches are far bigger than what you see in the film, and they move very quick and even have a creepy way that they crawl. Had those types of roaches been used in the movie it might’ve actually been scary, but compromising on the smaller version (apparently because they were more plentiful and easier to trap) does it in. We also don’t get to see all that much of them, there’s a fleeting shot here and there, but mostly it relies on a loud hissing sound that they make, which becomes too constant and eventually quite annoying.

The script makes the mistake of revealing its cards too soon. Had it remained more of a mystery of what was killing the pets it might’ve allowed for more intrigue, but by the second act it’s made clear what’s causing it. Thus, the rest of the movie becomes redundant as we’re shown, over-and-over, the bugs and the noise they make until it gets quite boring and seems to be going nowhere. Seeing the bugs actually bite into the animal’s flesh, which would be difficult to do, but still possible with micro photography, might’ve helped add a memorable image, but just seeing a quick glimpse of a bloody carcass isn’t as impressive. The bugs are also somehow able to devour the flesh of an animal in literally seconds, which even with a genetically engineered breed seems wildly exaggerated.

The script was in desperate need of some sort of a subplot. Possibly having a violent confrontation between the sheriff and mayor, which it kind of teases, but never actually happens, or even having the mayor hold the sheriff hostage and thus preventing him from warning others and then him try to find a way to escape in time could’ve helped make things a lot more intriguing. Also, not giving away that Dr. Morgan was a nut until the very end could’ve allowed for a surprise reveal/twist of which there is none.

Spoiler Alert!

The roaches being able to mutate into whatever species they’ve eaten is when the whole thing jumps-the-shark. I suppose some might be impressed with the special effects of seeing the mayor morph into a giant rodent, which the filmmaker’s were clearly banking-on as being the movies’ ‘shock highlight’, but it’s overreaching. Trying to do some hybrid insect/monster movie doesn’t work when the logic isn’t there, which in this case it definitely wasn’t. While I’ve never seen a bug movie that I’ve totally liked there’s still plenty out there that are better than this one.

My Rating: 3 out of 10

Released: November 20, 1987

Runtime: 1 Hour 29 Minutes

Rated R

Director: Terence H. Winkless

Studio: Concorde Pictures

Available: DVD, Blu-ray, Plex, Tubi, Amazon Video

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Monkey Shines (1988)

Posted on October 23, 2024 | Leave a comment

monkey

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 2 out of 10

4-Word Review: Chimp terrorizes paralyzed man.

Allan (Jason Beghe) becomes paralyzed after getting hit by a truck one morning while jogging. Since he’s unable to get along with his live-in nurse, Maryanne (Christine Forrest), or his meddling mother (Joyce Van Patten), his friend Geoffrey (John Pankow) suggests he use a monkey specifically trained to help handicapped patients. Initially Allan likes the monkey, whom he names Ella, as he’s able to do a lot of tasks that helps Allan with the situation that he’s in. However, Geoffrey fails to mention that Ella is no ordinary monkey as she’s been injected with human brain serum in an effort to boost her intelligence. He’s hoping that having the chimp interact with a human will prove that his research studies are a success and allow his department to receive some desperately needed funding. Things though start to take a terrifying turn as the monkey falls-in-love with Allan and fights-off anyone she considers a potential rival including Melanie (Kate McNeil), a beautiful young lady who had helped train Ella for this project. Ella also begins carrying-out Allan’s vengeful fantasies and shows an ability to read Allan’s mind and vice-versa.

The film is based on the 1983 novel of the same name written by Michael Stewart. The script follows the story relatively closely with the biggest difference being the setting where in the book it takes place in England and in the movie it’s in Pittsburgh. While the concept is intriguing, I kept watching just waiting to see how it would turn-out, it doesn’t fully work as a horror movie. Having to watch Allan’s difficulty in adjusting to being fully paralyzed, and even his attempted suicide, was horrifying enough and bringing the monkey in, actually alleviated the tension instead of heightening it.

Had the monkey started to rebel on his own without the scientific experiment angle would’ve been more frightening because we wouldn’t know what was causing it. Showing this super sleazy scientist injecting the chimp with a mysterious serum telegraphs to the viewer right away that something terrible is going to happen, so there’s no element of surprise as the viewer is already braced for trouble from the get-go versus having them come-in less guarded. The ability for the monkey to supposedly read Allan’s mind, or for him to visualize things from the chimp’s point-of-view, made no sense. The injections were supposed to make the animal smarter, not acquire ESP, and since Allan doesn’t receive the same injections how then are the emotions and visions between the two transferable?

The whole thing becomes too preposterous to be able to take seriously and thus the interest level ultimately wanes. I might’ve actually gone with the monkey being possessed from something and that caused him to become so aggressive, but only when he’s alone with Allan, but with other people he remains well behaved and thus Allan’s protesting that he’s become a ‘bad monkey’ would initially fall on deaf ears. Since Allan is so helpless due to his physical state having a chimp run amok and nobody believe him could be genuinely scary without any of the extra nonsense that the movie throws-in.

The Melanie character doesn’t really gel either. For one thing she’s super, super hot; a cover girl quality, so why doesn’t this babe have every eligible suitor in the area chasing after her? Since she could, based on her looks, get any guy she wanted why then would she settle for one that couldn’t move? I was willing to overlook this though as some people can have unusual tastes in who they fall for, but the sex scene between the two seemed way over-the-top. I’ve read where certain paraplegics can still have an active sex life, but someone who is fully paralyzed like this one it didn’t seem it would possible. I’m not a medical expert, so I don’t want to say for sure it couldn’t happen, but it’s gotta be quite a stretch especially with the stylized way it gets captured looking like something straight out of a music video, which makes the movie come-off as even more ridiculous than it already is.

Spoiler Alert!

It was director George A. Romero’s intention to have Allan remain paralyzed, just like in the book, but Orion Pictures was desperate for a hit, so they insisted on a more positive conclusion. The alternate ending, which can be seen as part of the bonus feature in the 2014 Blu-ray release, has Geoffrey’s superior, Dean Burbage, played by Stephen Root, inject the rest of the monkeys in Geoffrey’s lab with the serum and then eventually having those monkeys take-over the Dean’s mind.

My Rating: 2 out of 10

Released: July 29, 1988

Runtime: 1 Hour 53 Minutes

Rated R

Director: George A. Romero

Studio: Orion Pictures

Available: DVD, Blu-ray, Amazon Video, Pluto TV, Roku, 

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Intruder (1989)

Posted on October 22, 2024 | Leave a comment

intruder2

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 6 out of 10

4-Word Review: Killer in grocery store.

Jennifer (Elizabeth Cox) and Linda (Renee Estevez) are two cashiers working the night shift at a grocery store. Just before closing Jennifer gets confronted by Craig (David Byrnes) a man she dated briefly who pressures her to get back together. When she refuses he becomes irate prompting Linda to alert the store owners (Dan Hicks, Eugene Robert Glazer). The police are eventually called in, but by then Craig has disappeared yet as the night progresses the night crew begins being stalked by some mysterious person that they can’t see. Eventually they start to turn-up dead having been killed in gruesome and novel ways. Is Craig the one behind it, or is it possibly someone else?

The concept is an interesting one as all the action takes place entirely on the grocery store premises with the majority done inside though there’s a few scenes that happen just outside of it. Scott Speigel, who co-wrote Evil Dead II with Sam Raimi, who appears as one of the store employees, got the idea for the film after working as part of the night crew at a Michigan grocery store and in fact ‘Night Crew’ was the movie’s original title, as well as the short film that was shot before they found funding to make a feature length version, but the distributors felt a more generic horror title would help it sell better. It was shot inside a former grocery store that was now empty in Bell, California where they hired a company to deliver two tons of damaged goods in order to use that to line the shelves.

The film is well directed with a lot of unique camera angles including a shot seen through a wine bottle another one where the point-of-view from inside a telephone looking-up and another showing someone from the outside turning a lock on a door and then having the camera shot rotate in tandem to it. The killings, once they finally get going, are adequately grisly and should suffice for gore fans.

While I enjoyed the store setting and felt they did an admirable job in making it appear like a real grocery market I was put-off with the lighting. All grocery stores that I’ve ever been to always are brightly lit in order to give-off this inviting feel and make people want to come inside. This store however was very dark and shadowy looking like no grocery place I’d ever been to and as a result it hurt the believability. Some may argue that this was the night shift and hence no need for all the lights to be on since only the overnight crew was in it, but it was very shadowy from the beginning even before it had closed and customers were still in it. I also didn’t care for the cameo appearances by Aly Moore and Tom Lester, two men who had been cast members in the old ‘Green Acres’ TV-show. Not sure what the relevance was for having them appear here, but they don’t really add much to the story and their bumbling ways don’t help add any tension and if anything detract from it.

The story moves a bit too slowly to the extent I started to worry if the killings were ever going to get going, or if it all was just one of those gimmicky horror flicks that ultimately isn’t very scary, or gory at all. The tension ebbs quite a bit and it would’ve worked better had the killer had some sort of identity, even if it was just wearing a goofy mask, versus having it be someone we never see. The idea that this killer would be able to single-handedly lift someone into the air simply by grabbing the victim’s hair and then proceed to shove them completely through store shelves, or hang them effortlessly on meat hooks, is absurd and makes the culprit seem more like a supernatural entity instead of the human that he is.

Spoiler Alert!

The ultimate reveal where the killer is exposed as being Bill the store’s co-owner was a bit of a surprise, but his motivations didn’t make sense. I could understand that he was upset about the store going out-of-business and would want to kill his partner for allowing it, but why kill all of the employees? If the idea is to ‘save’ the store this isn’t exactly a good way of going about doing it. His explanation that he simply got ‘carried away’ doesn’t suffice. If he really is just ‘crazy’ then elements of his insane personality should’ve come to the surface long before just that night.

Having Jennifer and her former boyfriend Craig, the only two survivors, get arrested for the crimes does have an ironic twist to it, but then leaving everything as a sort-of cliffhanger isn’t satisfying. The original ending was to have the camera go inside Jennifer’s screaming mouth, as she’s protesting her arrest, and down her throat until it got to her heart, which would then be shown as stop beating, but because it would be too complicated to shoot the idea got scrapped, but it would’ve been a cool final shot for sure.

My Rating: 6 out of 10

Released: January 27, 1988

Runtime: 1 Hour 28 Minutes (Unrated Version)

Director: Scott Spiegel

Studio: Empire Pictures

Available: DVD, Blu-ray, Amazon Video, Tubi, Full Moon

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Creepshow 2 (1987)

Posted on October 21, 2024 | Leave a comment

creepshow2

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 6 out of 10

4-Word Review: Three stories of terror.

Due to the success of the 1982 installment Stephen King and George Romero got together to write a second script based on three of King’s short stories and directing duties were turned over to Michael Gornick who had been the cinematographer on the first one. The budget was much lower than the first, which hampered the special effects and critical reception though it still made $14 million at the box office and has garnered a cult following amongst contemporary audiences.

The first, which is the weakest, stars George Kennedy and Dorothy Lamour, in her last film appearance, as owners of a small-town general store that’s no longer making any profit. An Indian tribe elder (Frank Selsado) gives the couple a bag filled with jewelry as repayment for a debt and then later that night three hooligans lead by the long-haired Sam (Holt McCallany) rob the store and kill the couple. The three think they’ve gotten off scot-free, but then the cigar store Indian that stood in front of the store comes to life and avenges the couple’s deaths by murdering the three boys one-by-one.

This segment takes a while to get going and really doesn’t get interesting until the robbery happens, which should’ve occurred sooner. While the effects of showing the wooden Indian moving around is impressive as it really looks like he’s made of wood and not just somebody in a costume it would’ve been more intriguing had it not given away who the killer was. Simply shown the three being hacked by some mysterious, shadowy figure and then only at the very, very end alluded to it being the Indian.

The second story is better and deals with four college friends (Paul Satterfield, Jeremy Green, Daniel Beer, Page Hannah) going for a swim on a remote lake. They leave their car running and then all dive into the water and swim out onto a wooden raft, but then notice a black, gooey substance that surrounds them. The four feel trapped and when one of the young ladies puts her hand into the water the blob sucks her in and drowns her. The blob then seeps its way through the cracks of the raft and kills another one leaving only two left.

This one is genuinely creepy and I liked how it’s shot under a bright sunny sky making the area appear inviting and no need for anyone to be guarded until it’s too late. The constant shots of the running car sitting on the beach not far from where the swimmers are on the raft, but still unable to get to it, heightens the tension as well as the fact that there’s never any answer to just what this substance is, which in this case accentuates the intrigue. The only thing that I didn’t like is that after being stuck on the raft for an entire day the guy holding the sleeping girl lays her down onto the raft floor, but then uses the opportunity to undress her and admire her breasts, but I’d think with the situation they were in he’d be too exhausted and frightened to think about sex. The ‘twist’ at the end, which shows a No Swimming sign posted in a grove of trees, which the young adults hadn’t spotted, doesn’t totally work because if there’s no swimming in that lake then why would there be a wooden raft in the middle of it and who put it there?

The third story is the best and features a middle-aged woman, played by Lois Chiles, who goes on a drive late one night and accidentally kills a hitchhiker (Tom Wright) when her car goes spinning out-of-control. Instead of offering aid to the man she just drives-off, but then becomes plagued by visions of him constantly reappearing during the rest of her trip making her panic as she attempts to ‘re-kill’ the man, so she can be rid of him once and for all.

Initially this one seemed like a redo of the classic ‘Twilight Zone’ episode that featured actress Inger Stevens who went on a car trip and kept seeing the same hitch-hiker at various intervals on her drive, but this one takes it a step further by having Chiles use her car to literally smash the guy again and again, which gives it a gruesome over-the-top quality that deftly mixes in gore and black humor perfectly.

The film was set to have two other stories, ‘Cat from Hell’ and ‘Pinfall’, but due to budgetary limitations it was decided not to proceed with those and they were never filmed. In the ‘Cat from Hell’ one a hitman gets paid $100,000 to kill a cat that’s supposedly killed three other people. The ‘Pinfall’ one deals with competing bowling teams where the one team kills the other one, by tinkering with the van they ride in, and then the dead team coming back to life as zombies and killing the other team in unique ways by using things only available in a bowling alley, which sounded really cool and it’s a shame this segment wasn’t made as it would’ve been the best of the bunch.

My Rating: 6 out of 10

Released: May 1, 1987

Runtime: 1 Hour 30 Minutes

Rated R

Director: Michael Gornick

Studio: New World Pictures

Available: DVD, Blu-ray, Amazon Video, Plex, Pluto TV, Tubi, Roku, YouTube

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Fright Night Part 2 (1988)

Posted on October 20, 2024 | 1 comment

fright2

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 6 out of 10

4-Word Review: Vampire’s sister stalks teen.

Charley (William Ragsdale) is now in college and having been convinced by his therapist (Ernie Sabella) that the ordeal he went through when he was in high school with his next-door neighbor Jerry Dandridge really wasn’t about a vampire, but instead the man had simply been a serial killer. In order to celebrate his successful ‘conversion’ he takes his new girlfriend Alex (Traci Lind) over to visit Peter (Roddy McDowall) who had been instrumental in helping Charley defeat Jerry. While there Charley looks out a window and sees movers hauling in three giant crates that look similar in size to coffins and he begins to fear the old ordeal is starting all over again. He begins dreaming that beautiful woman named Regine (Julie Carmen) visits him in his apartment one night and bites him on his neck and soon he begins showing odd traits like having to wear dark glasses because he no longer likes the sunlight. After going to a party with Peter where Regine is also in attendance, he becomes convinced that she’s really just a performance artist and no longer fears her until Peter takes out his trusty hand-held mirror and notices that he can’t see her reflection. Once Regine realizes that Peter’s on to her she admits that she really is a vampire and out for revenge over what he and Charley did to Jerry who happened to be her brother.

As sequels go this one isn’t bad though there’s quite a few things that are different from the first one, which is mainly a who slew of new faces. Amanda Bearse, who had figured so prominently as Charley’s original girlfriend is nowhere to be seen as she was working on the TV-show ‘Married With Children’ and not able to reprise her role while Stephen Geoffreys, who played Charley’s friend Ed was busy starring in 976-Evil and thus not available.  Director Tom Holland and Chris Sarandon, who had played Jerry Dandridge in the first, were involved in Child’s Play, and thus unable to commit though purportedly Sarandon did visit the shoot in order to offer emotional support.

Tommy Lee Wallace, who was best known for having directed Halloween III: Season of the Witch, a film that was a critical and commercial failure when first released, but has through the years gained a cult following, got tabbed to direct this one and his background doing music videos can be clearly sensed here as it features a lot of quick edits and a moody vibe, which I really liked. Regine and her vampire clan that constantly surround her dress almost like a kitschy 80’s rock glam band, which is silly looking and campy, but also in a weird way creepy. Despite the low budget the special effects are still good particularly the monstrous transformations and the climactic sequence that takes place inside an elevator.

While Sarandon was highly impressive in the first version and there was simply no way that any other actor could’ve topped his performance Carmen is an adequate replacement. Too many times when producers can’t get a certain actor they then go out of their way to find someone similar, but here they wisely took the other route by finding someone who was quite the opposite. Instead of being verbally intimidating like with Jerry she does her stalking through being sexually alluring and the result is just as scary.

It’s also great seeing McDowall return as his presence in the first installment had been quite entertaining and his character here remains just as fun and I felt his hair looked better too. In the original the white in his hair appeared to have been sprayed on similar to how a white Christmas tree would look while in this one it’s a more natural looking gray with the white appearing on the edges, but the top part of his head still having a brownish color. I was though confused about how he was able to afford such a spacious pad in a ritzy apartment building that resembled a castle since in the first film he had been living in a cramped, dingy apartment that he was being evicted from and still working at the same job, so where he found the influx of cash to being able to move-up to a new swanky place is not explained.

The two things though that I didn’t care for was having Charley so easily convinced that what he had seen with his own eyes, Jerry being a vampire, was somehow not real, which made the character come-off as weak, easily influenced, and not reliable and like someone you really didn’t feel like rooting for if they could be brainwashed to that effective a degree. Also, having him slowly start to turn into a vampire wasn’t interesting in the least and having the bite mark continue to bleed even after it was bandaged didn’t make sense. Even if the puncture is created by a vampire the blood should still clot like it would with any other wound and not just turn the victim into a hemophiliac, which is what it kind of started to appear like.

The attempts at humor were misguided and genuinely got into the way of the scares and the whole thing would’ve been more effective had it been played straight. Overall though I felt was an effective follow-up and in certain ways even a bit better than the first. Finding a print of it though may be challenging as it’s never been released onto Blu-ray and the DVD issue, which came-out in 2003, is now out-of-print. It’s also not streamed anywhere. Even on its initial release it was only seen at select theaters for a brief time before falling off into obscurity. The main reason for this is that was produced by a production company run by Joseph Mendez, who while the movie was being filmed, was murdered along with his wife by their two teenage sons, which sent the company into bankruptcy and hampered the film from getting out. It also hurt the production of Part 3, which had already been in the planning stages. Infact both McDowall and Holland had a meeting with Mendez about moving forward with the third installment on the morning of his murder. That meeting though had proved to be a bit contentious, so when McDowall heard about the murder the next day he then immediately called Holland and said: “I didn’t do it, did you?”

My Rating: 6 out of 10

Released: December 8, 1988

Runtime: 1 Hour 43 Minutes

Rated R

Director: Tommy Lee Wallace

Studio: New Century/Vista

Available: DVD (out-of-print)

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Posted in 80's Movies, Black Comedy, Horror, Movies with Nudity, Obscure Movies, Sequels

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