Tag Archives: L.Q. Jones

White Line Fever (1975)

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By Richard Winters

My Rating: 5 out of 10

4-Word Review: Truck driver fights corruption.

Carrol Jo (Jan-Michael Vincent) has returned from a overseas trip in the Air Force and is now set to marry his sweetheart Jerri (Kay Lenz), but to do so he must get a job. Since he grew up in the trucking business where his father was a long haul driver he decides to buy himself a rig by getting a loan at the bank. Once purchased he drives to the Red River company in town to find cargo to haul, so that he can quickly start making money and get out of debt with the bank as soon as possible. However, he realizes that the company has become overrun with corruption and if he wants to work there he must agree to haul contraband, which he refuses. He tries going into business for himself, but the folks at Red River, who secretly have deep connections to some very influential and rich people, are determined not to let his start-up get-off the ground and stymie his efforts at every turn, which causes Carrol Jo to take matters into his own hands and proceeds to instigate an elaborate revenge.

This was Jonathan Kaplan’s 5th film effort and he got hired onto the project when one of the producers mistakenly thought the film he did before this one, Truck Tanner, had been about truck driving, which it wasn’t, but Kaplan decided to just take the offer without bothering to correct the confusion. His directorial instincts helps a lot particularly at the beginning where he uses some interesting montages including showing actual pics of Vincent and Lenz as children and then progressive photos as they age into adulthood. There’s quick edits, which gives it a breezy pace and never allows it to get boring.

However, the story itself is quiet pedestrian as there’s no interesting twists. Small town bigots running a questionable trucking operation is about as cliched as it gets and it’s hard to get emotionally invested in the proceedings when you know exactly how it’s going to work out. No new angles get added in and everything from the one-dimensional characters to the paper thin plot is so painfully predictable it becomes genuinely irritating.

The story has more of a herky-jerky structure than a linear one. I thought the whole first two acts would be Vincent dealing with the repeated harassment until he’s had enough and implements a vigilante style response, but instead it becomes more violent vignettes with the bad guys doing something underhanded and then Vincent immediately responding making it seem episodic and like the plot is moving in a circular fashion instead of forward. Shooting it in Tucson, Arizona is alright though the barren, sandy wintertime desert landscape isn’t exactly eye-catching. Having police cars fitted with Confederate flags and cops behaving like southern hicks is out-of-place as Arizona is a western state far removed from the deep south as most of the people living there have come from the north to escape the cold winters and certainly not from places like Alabama like the movie seemingly wants you to believe.

The supporting cast is certainly engaging especially Slim Pickens who manages to always be fun no matter what B-movie he is in, but Vincent is weak. This was reportedly when he first started using cocaine, which culminated in both the downfall of his career and eventually his life. He mentioned that he never felt comfortable with the fame and I suspect it’s because he knew deep down he maybe didn’t really belong. He’s a good-looking guy who in supporting parts had some potential, but as someone trying to carry a film he’s incredibly blah and doesn’t add anything other than the basic reaction shots. Lenz shows a far more interesting energy and the script should’ve been rewritten to make her the truck driver trying to fight a male dominated industry, which would’ve given the movie the unique spin that it needed.

The villain side gets botched as well. Pickens would’ve been okay, but he amounts to being just a throwaway henchman as does Martin Kove, who years later would get remembered as being the mean coach in The Karate Kid. L.Q. Jones though had strong potential and had he been the so-called brains behind the thing it could’ve been forgiven and there’s even a long, drawn-out foot chase between he and Vincent near the end that isn’t bad, but the ultimate culprits turn-out to being this group of non-descript old guys headed by Don Porter best known for playing Sally Field’s widowed father in the TV-Show ‘Gidget’. Now, R.G. Armstrong, who plays Porter’s shyster lawyer, isn’t bad, but Porter doesn’t have enough sleazy flair to give the part any panache making him come-off more like he’s just another stock character. In films like these there needs to be one really nasty mastermind that needs to be taken down and having it get assimilated to an entire group of otherwise non-descript old guys dilutes it too much.

Spoiler Alert!

Even the action seems a bit lacking. Granted there are a few edge-of-your-seat moments like when Vincent gets on top of a moving rig in order to fire a rifle at the driver of another vehicle that’s chasing them and Pickens death scene, in which he gets runover by a truck is pretty shocking too, but other than that the stunts are run-of-the-mill. The ending was a particular letdown as it has Vincent driving his truck through the gate of Porter’s residence and then into the marquee that sits out front, but I wanted him to go all the way and crash through the walls of the plush mansion. I’m sure that would’ve been deemed too expensive to pull-off, but it would’ve given it a more dramatic conclusion and if done in slow motion could’ve been really cool to see and might’ve made sitting through the rest of it worth it.

My Rating: 5 out of 10

Released: July 16, 1975

Runtime: 1 Hour 30 Minutes

Rated PG

Director: Jonathan Kaplan

Studio: Columbia Pictures

Available: DVD-R, Amazon Video, Tubi

A Boy and His Dog (1975)

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By Richard Winters

My Rating: 7 out of 10

4-Word Review: Surviving after nuclear holocaust.

The year is 2024 and the landscape of the U.S. has been turned into a wasteland due the after effects of a nuclear war that occurred in 2007. Vic (Don Johnson) is an 18-year-old that wanders around with his telepathic dog named Blood (voice of Tim McIntire). Blood helps Vic find women to rape while Vic scavenges for food for their survival. One night while watching an X-rated movie at a makeshift theater Blood is able to gain the scent of a woman nearby named Quilla (Susanne Benton). Quilla and Vic eventually have sex, but then she disappears to the underground society that survives inside a biosphere. Vic decides to follow her there while Blood remains above ground waiting for Vic’s return. Once Vic arrives he finds everyone there to be in whiteface and dressed like people living on the farm during the turn-of-the-century. He meets Lou (Jason Robards) along with Dr. Moore (Alvy Moore) and Mez (Helene Winstone) who all three run things. They convince Vic to stay there as he has a ‘purpose’ of becoming a stud and impregnating the young women since the men there can no longer do so. At first Vic is excited about his newfound ‘job’ as he is always quite horny, but after he finds out the details of what he must do he relinquishes his duty, but realizes it may be too late.

The story is based on the novella of the same name by Harlan Ellison who wrote the original screenplay that was later finished by director L.Q. Jones who used his own money to help get the film financed. While the movie does have some intriguing and memorable visuals, logic-wise there are some holes. One of the biggest ones is that, at least hypothetically, there would most likely have been a nuclear winter, which is what would be created after a nuclear war due to so much soot being blown into the atmosphere that it would block out most of the sunlight for several decades and create a night time effect and for this reason the outdoor scenes should’ve been filmed at night in order to replicate the ongoing darkness.

Vic’s conversations with his dog, which all gets done telepathically, is odd too and never sufficiently explained. How does this dog attain this ‘gift’ and why is it only him and not other mutts that can do it too? It would’ve been better had it been explained that some modern invention had been created that would allow communication between owners and their pets, but even this fails to explain how the dog manages to be so incredibly smart. Don’t get me wrong the voice-over work by McIntire is delightful, but how did the animal get so well-read that he even knows the Latin origin of words? Is there a dog college that teaches them this?

Vic’s extreme urges to have sex all the time seemed out-of-place too. Granted he’s a young guy with raging hormones, but psychologically when a person is in a desperate situation, in this case simply trying to survive in a hostile environment with very little food, then a person’s most basic needs come first and it’s all they’ll think about. Finding something to eat, they’re forced to go out each day and hunt for something, and acquiring shelter for sleep, would be their pressing needs and what would occupy their minds most day-in and day-out while the sex need would become secondary and only have his focus once the other needs were met, but in this story the sex urges seem to take precedent, which doesn’t make sense from a human behavioral perspective, nor where he’d get the energy to do it since he’s pretty malnourished to begin with.

The X-rated movie that they watch at a ‘theater’ is goofy too as it amounts to nothing more than a grainy black-and-white stag film from the 50’s even though technically by 2007, which is when the bombs dropped, there was porn on the internet and explicit DVD’s some of which would’ve probably survived the blast and thus they’d be watching those instead of something found in grandpa’s ancient collection. Though this is what makes the movie entertaining not so much for what it gets accurate in their predictions, which isn’t much, but more what it gets wrong.

The one thing though that really stands-out, at least for me, and makes the movie memorable, though this apparently wasn’t the case with the film’s initial test audience who called these scenes ‘slow’ and ‘boring’, are the moments that take place in the underground society. The look of everyone walking around like robots and resembling farmers from a bygone era has a kitschy flair like something out of a Federico Fellini movie. Hal Baylor, as one of the main menacing robots that can’t seem to ever go down even when being directly shot at, steals every scene he is in and helps create some definite tension. I also got a kick out of everyone wearing white face, which I thought was to explain their pale complexions due to not be out in the sun, but it seems to be instead obviously painted on, so I’m not sure what that was meant to represent.

The twist ending is terrific and the film’s final line, which Ellison detested and tried having taken out, is a keeper. While its attained a cult following there are still the detractors who feel its ‘misogynistic’ though I don’t really see it.  Sure Vic sees women as sex objects and ‘conquests’, but there’s guys out there that are like that. Quilla is conniving and duplicitous, but some women are like that too. The movie isn’t saying that all men and women are like this, but in environments that are as desperate as this one it will tend to bring out the worst in human nature, which was all the film was trying to convey from my standpoint.

My Rating: 7 out of 10

Released: May 15, 1975

Runtime: 1 Hour 31 Minutes

Rated R

Director: L.Q. Jones

Studio: LQ/Jaf Productions

Available: DVD, Blu-ray, Amazon Video, Pluto, Roku, Tubi, YouTube

Fast Charlie…….the Moonbeam Rider (1979)

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 4 out of 10

4-Word Review: Cross country motorcycle race.

Charlie Swattle (David Carradine) is a WWI veteran and full-time conman who decides to enter into a transnational motorbike race that goes from St. Louis to San Francisco and will offer a big money payout to the winner. He tries to get his army buddies to help him, but they’re reluctant due to the belief that he’s a deserter. He then meets up with a sassy waitress (Brenda Vaccaro) who agrees to offer assistance, but only under stringent conditions.

The film is adequately entertaining but hurt by an uninspired, modest budget look. While efforts were made to make it appear like it were the 1920’s there’s no style to the direction nor any atmosphere. Too much emphasis gets placed on the cutesy comedy, which further erodes any semblance that this is an authentic period piece, which it clearly isn’t.

It takes a full hour before the race even gets going with the whole first half spent on the comic interpersonal relationships/banter that Charlie has with those around him. The race does have a few exciting moments including the point-of-view shots shown from the rider’s perspective as the motorbike careens down the bumpy backwoods dirt roads, but having the entire film shot in Oklahoma is a letdown. This is a race that is supposed to go across many different states and landscapes, but instead we’re given only one type of topography, which was obviously done for budget considerations, but ultimately comes-off like a cop-out.

Things do improve with the presence of Vaccaro, who only did the film due to contractual obligations with the studio. Leonard Maltin, in his review of the movie (or whoever wrote the review for him), incorrectly states that she plays an “early-day biker groupie” , which couldn’t be further from the truth. A groupie as defined by a dictionary search is someone who is: ‘An enthusiastic uncritical follower’ which Vaccaro clearly isn’t. The two instead share a very combative, contentious relationship where she is constantly putting him down and not trusting him, which certainly does not conform to the idol worship of the conventional groupie.

Carradine’s performance is okay. Some of his appearances in other films make it seem like he was sleepwalking through the part, but here he manages to show some oomph. He at least does better in this one than in the other similarly themed movie Death Race 2000where his face was hidden by a mask and he seemed almost like a robot. L.Q. Jones offers good support as his one-legged war buddy, who initially wants to kill Charlie, but then reluctantly agrees to be a part of his team. There’s also a good moment where the two try to desperately outrun a train while on a bridge, which is similar to the famous scene in Stand by Me, but this one was shot five year earlier.

My biggest complaint is that it follows the Rocky formula too closely. Despite being in a different time period it still has all the corny cliches of a feel-good sports movie. The ending is in no way ‘exhilarating’ as intended, but instead painfully predictable. Nothing is more frustrating than watching a movie where you know exactly how it’s going to end right from the start.

My Rating: 4 out of 10

Released: May 4, 1979

Runtime: 1 Hour 39 Minutes

Rated PG

Director: Steve Carver

Studio: Universal

Available: None at this time.