Category Archives: Drive-In/T & A

Night Call Nurses (1972)

night call nurses 1

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 2 out of 10

4-Word Review: Sex makes good medicine.

Barbara (Patty Byrne), Janis (Alana Stewart), and Sandra (Mittie Lawrence) are three young women starting out in the nursing field. The film analyzes their various and sometimes amusing predicaments while on the job as well as their sex lives.

The film moves at a decent pace, but seems disjointed with poor story and character progression. Things are thrown in just to keep it moving, but with no real connection to anything else. Amateurish production values permeate and Jonathan Kaplan’s directorial debut is for the most part best forgotten. The only mildly interesting scene involved a therapy group where all the members strip off their clothes as well as having one of the members think that she is being driven insane by the group’s instructor.

The attempts at lightheartedness and humor are strained and flat. Only one brief exchange during the entire duration managed to elicit a small chuckle from myself and it goes like this:

Male Patient: (While looking at the nurse’s nametag on her uniform) Is Janis your name, or the name of your left titty?

Janis: (While giggling) Janis is my name. Irene is the name of my left tiitty.

The acting is quite poor with everyone phoning in their parts. Alana Stewart who was at one time the wife of actor George Hamilton and later rock legend Rod Stewart as well as the mother of Ashley Hamilton and Kimberly Stewart mouths her lines in a lifeless and emotionless fashion that resembles her beautiful but blank blue eyes. However, recent pics of her are amazing as she looks like she hasn’t aged a day since she has done this and I’ll give her credit there. Despite only doing one other picture besides this one Byrne is the one that gives the strongest performance particularly her effective crying, which seems real.

There is enough nudity to satisfy the voyeurs including the opening sequence where one of the mentally-ill patients’ strips off her clothes and then jumps off the roof of a building. However, you basically only see their breasts and the sex is handled in such a mechanical and unimaginative way that it fails to titillate at all.

The Shout Factory DVD issue has a great picture quality much like Private Duty Nurses, but the sound is a problem. There is a background rumbling heard throughout that resembles talking to someone on the phone with wind blowing through the receiver, or speaking to someone in the car with the windows down and wind blowing in.

My Rating: 2 out of 10

Released: June 10, 1972

Runtime: 1Hour 14Minutes

Rated R

Director: Jonathan Kaplan

Studio: New World Pictures

Available: DVD (Roger Corman’s Nurses Collection) 

Private Duty Nurses (1971)

private duty nurses 2

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 4 out of 10

4-Word Review: Sex on the job.

Three friends (Katherine Cannon, Joyce Williams, Pegi Boucher) join the nursing field and get their first jobs at a local hospital. Together they must deal with the pressures of the profession as well as the dating scene and some of the lecherous, cheating men that come with it.

If one approaches this thing with extremely modest expectations then it is not too bad. It is compact enough and moves at a decent pace and while not exactly compelling it isn’t completely boring either. The girls deal with a lot of problems that every generation goes through particularly on the relationship end, which gives it a certain relevancy. It is also nice see them doing some actual medical duties and in one case even saving a young child’s life.

Where it fails is in its misguided idea of trying to tackle ‘serious’ issues. The story thread dealing with Spring’s (Cannon) romance with biker Domino (Dennis Redfield) who has had several serious head injuries and is told if he gets just one more it could prove fatal and yet continues to race anyways is predictably overwrought. The thread dealing with racism has been done so much better in far superior productions that it seems almost pointless here and the way it gets resolved is a bit farfetched. The third story having to do with water pollution takes on too much and has a wrap-up that is too tidy. The dialogue during a lot of these scenes is corny and the characters are all cardboard.

The three female leads look gorgeous both with their clothes on and off. All three of them appear nude although it is basically just from the waist up. However, if you are a breast fan you should like the scenes here particularly those who enjoy ones that are natural and firm. The nudity is not prevalent, but should be enough to satisfy the skin aficionados. There is also a rape scene near the end that seems to come out of nowhere and gets a bit explicit.

The Shout factory deserves a ‘shout-out’ for their transfer. Although the sound quality isn’t the best and does feature a faint and constant clicking sound during the last half-hour the picture quality is superb. The colors are bright and vivid without any of the faded or grainy look that usually permeates most low budget transfers from the 70’s. To certain extent it comes off looking like it had just been filmed yesterday.

My Rating: 4 out of 10

Released: September 1, 1971

Runtime: 1Hour 20Minutes

Rated R

Director: George Armitage

Studio: New World Pictures

Available: DVD (The Nurses Collection)

The Student Nurses (1970)

student nurses

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 4 out of 10

4-Word Review: Nurses have special medicine.

Unlike its billing this is NOT a T&A drive-in picture. Yes there is some sex and nudity, but not much and certainly not enough to satisfy the voyeur. The movie is basically just strained, hackneyed drama detailing the lives of four young student nurses (Elaine Giftos, Karen Carlson, Brioni Farrell, and Barbara Leigh). That is so mechanical that you almost wish it did take more of a sleazy, silly route.

The most contrived segment has nurse Giftos trying to bring happiness to an embittered teen with cystic fibrosis. It’s handled with all the same annoying clichés as an episode of one of those old cardboard medical TV shows. The only twist here is that on his last night of life she strips and goes to bed with him, which just makes it even more inane.

The one unique sequence deals with a surprisingly long, drawn out abortion. The woman having the procedure starts to hallucinate under the anesthesia and sees herself having an abortion on a public beach with all sorts of onlookers including young children and a couple of surfer dudes watching.

The film also offers a rare chance to see Katherine ‘Scotty’ Macgreoger. She played Mrs. Olson on the old “Little House on the Prairie” TV show, but did little else outside of that. Here she plays Miss Boswell the girl’s teacher. She has the same controlling, cold exterior as her TV character. She even threatens to dock a girl a full grade point if she doesn’t start to wear longer skirts.

The four female leads are stunningly beautiful. They look and behave very much the same way as a pretty young girl of today would. Unfortunately their acting is terrible and the way they deliver their lines is almost torturous to listen to. It also gets annoying the way they are portrayed. One minute they are liberated and horny and then the next minute they are sweet All-American girls just trying to do the right thing.

My Rating: 4 out of 10

Released: December 2, 1970

Runtime: 1Hour 29Minutes

Rated R

Director: Stephanie Rothman

Studio: New World Pictures

Available: VHS, DVD

Fore Play (1975)

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 1 out of 10

4-Word Review: This sex goes limp.

This is a boring, flat, and completely disastrous attempt at sex comedy. This is the type of teaser T & A picture that gives all other T & A pictures a bad name. Out of the entire running time there is less than a minute of any actual nudity. The sex jokes are stupid and a child could watch this and not be overly shocked. It also looks like it was meshed together on the smallest of budgets.

The film is structured much like a horror anthology with three different stories all based on the same theme in this case sex. The first one features comedian Pat Paulsen as a lonely man who buys a realistic looking sex doll (Deborah Loomis). The doll is supposed to be Polish, but her accent sound more like it is Swedish. This segment is somewhat interesting because Paulsen plays against type here. He is much more emotional and hostile. He even ends up swearing at his own mother (Sudie Bond). There is also an amusing bit of seeing him trying to get the doll, with her stiff arms and legs, into a taxi cab. However the segment goes by too fast and the ending is really stupid. Paulsen also sings here and it sounds as bad as you might expect.

The second segment features Jerry Orbach as a writer going through writer’s block. Here you see the film’s one and only offensive sight, which is having to witness George S Irving in a bikini bottom. He plays Orbach’s muse and takes him back into time to reverse certain sexual conquests that he initially bombed at. One amusing bit has him in a game where he must undress a beautiful lady in sixty seconds in order to have sex with her. He does only to find that she is frigid. Like with the first segment this one also has a really stupid ending.

The third and final story sounds like a winner, but fails terribly. It consists of Zero Mostel as the President whose daughter is kidnapped. As ransom he is forced to have sex with his wife (Estelle Parsons) on national television, which ends up being incredibly dull and unsexy. The only amusing bit, and it is a very brief one, is when one of the secret service agents has to frisk the first lady before she is allowed to hug her husband. Both Parsons and Mostel play dual roles neither of which is funny.

The film is sleep inducing. Although many sources list it with a very brief running time it ran a full 90 minutes on the print I saw, which of course only means more minutes of boredom.

My Rating: 1 out of 10

Released: March 24, 1975

Runtime: 1Hour 30Minutes

Rated R

Directors: John G. Avildsen, Bruce Malmuth, Robert McCarty

Studio: Cinema National

Available: DVD (Troma)