Tag Archives: David Hess

Swamp Thing (1982)

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 3 out of 10

4-Word Review: Scientist transforms into creature.

Alice (Adrienne Barbeau), a federal agent, is sent to the bayou regions in order to investigate the disappearance of another agent who’d been working at a top-secret facility. It is there that she meets researchers Linda (Nannette Brown) and Alec (Ray Wise) who are brother and sister and working on a chemical that can rapidly regrow plant life. Anton Arcane (Louis Jourdan) is after this formula and raids the facility in order to get his hands on it, but Alec manages to swipe it away just in time only to trip and fall causing him to spill it over himself and getting set on fire. In order to extinguish the flames, he jumps into the swamp but is presumed dead. Alice is able to escape, but Arcane’s henchmen (David Hess, Nicholas Worth) spot her the next day and attempt to drown her, which is when a strange green creature jumps out of the water to save her. Alice is at first unsure of where this creature came from but slowly begins to suspect it may be connected to Alec.

The film is based on the comic book of the same name where the creature first appeared in July of 1971. While I liked the on-location shooting done at the Cypress Gardens in South Carolina the movie otherwise falls precariously flat. I suspect the cause of this comes from the tight budget where the emphasis was for everything to come in on time and limit costs. There’s adequate action, which almost all done on the water, but it eventually gets formulaic. There had been plans to shoot a chase underwater, but this got scrapped and there’s just so many shots of a speed boat one can take before it becomes monotonous. It’s not clear either whether this was to be played up for camp, or not. Some knowing humor could’ve given it an added dimension, but as it is the only real amusing moment is when Alice ‘shoos’ away the giant creature with her hand treating him like he was nothing more than a rodent.

Casting wise it has an appeal. Barbeau was already hitting 40 and it’s refreshing having a female protagonist not having to be youthful and hip, but instead grounded and straightforward. Jourdan is equally enjoyable, and his crusted, stern look and terse delivery makes him sufficiently menacing. I also enjoyed Hess and Worth better known for playing prominent psychos in other films but coming off as sort of klutzy and over their heads here. Out of everyone though I really like Reggie Batts. He was a young black kid that lived in the region but had no other acting experience and was never in another movie but is quite amiable with his humorous observations and his presence gives the movie some earthy balance.

While Wise does well as the main character the fact that when he turns into the creature it gets played by somebody else, in this case stuntman Dick Durock, doesn’t really work. Initially Wise was supposed to play both roles and Durock would only put on the creature outfit when there needed to be stunts done, but his body build was so different from Wise’s that it was determined to just use him as it would be too obvious otherwise. The biggest mistake though, and I haven’t read the comic, so it may be true there as well, is that I didn’t like him speaking. Having the creature be this murky anomaly gave him an aire of mystery, which gets ruined when he starts talking. He becomes like just another character only in a body suit, and outside of super strength and being able to regrow his limbs, isn’t all that interesting.

Spoiler Alert!

The concept where ingesting the formula will bring out the person’s ‘true essence’ of who they really are was cool but unfortunately gets badly botched. When Worth’s character takes it, he shrinks in size and thus showing that he’s timid inside, which is fine. However, his clothes shrink with the body, but the chemical never got on them, so they should’ve remained normal sized and just his body gotten smaller.

When Arcane drinks it he becomes a hairy monster, but it comes off looking like a guy in a Halloween costume, which cheapens the effects. It might’ve cost more, but doing the transformation via makeup, similar to The Planet of the Apes, would’ve been more impressive and authentic looking.

My Rating: 3 out of 10

Released: February 19, 1982

Runtime: 1 Hour 31 Minutes

Rated PG

Director: Wes Craven

Studio: United Artists

Available: DVD, Blu-ray, Amazon Video, Plex, Roku Channel, Tubi, YouTube

Hitch-Hike (1977)

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 5 out of 10

4-Word Review: Couple picks up killer.

Walter (Franco Nero) and his wife Eve (Corinne Clery) are constantly bickering about Walter’s alcoholism. They go on a trip to Los Angeles and on the way pick-up Adam (David Hess) whose car is stranded on the road. Unbeknownst to them he’s a robber who has doubled-crossed his partners and absconded with a suitcase full of $2 million dollars. It doesn’t take long before Adam has a gun to both of their heads demanding they take him to Mexican border where he plans to escape while also killing them in the process. As the two try desperately to figure a way out they are also being secretly followed by the two young men whom Adam betrayed and who are now intent on extracting a revenge.

One of the biggest problems I had with the movie is that it’s supposed to take place in California but was actually shot in the mountains of Gran Sasso in Italy, which looks nothing like the state. I realize that California has a varied topography but the locales here are screaming southern Europe and the highway signs are done in blue, which anyone living in the U.S. would know is fake as here they’re green, which only accentuates the off-kilter look of the production. Since where they’re driving to makes no real difference to the plot I would’ve just had it be some city in Italy like Rome, which would’ve helped the authenticity.

The other problem I had is that, at least the version I watched, it’s spoken in Italian. Normally I prefer movies that are subtitled versus dubbed, but I could’ve sworn years ago I saw it in English, but what’s available on YouTube, which is the only service currently streaming it, doesn’t offer that, which is a big shame. Not so much because of Nero or Clery, but more Hess as his own voice is not used, which then defeats the whole reason for having him. He’s best known for playing the sadistic killer in The Last House on the Left, and he has an excellent way of being menacing, but because we don’t hear him actually speak in his native tongue all of that gets lost and the creepy energy that was supposed to be there by casting him gets completely wasted.

Spoiler Alert!

The story, which is based on the unpublished novel ‘The Violence and the Fury’ by Peter Kane, doesn’t get off to a good start as it features two people, particularly Nero, who are not likable, and thus the viewer really doesn’t care about their predicament making the tension mediocre at best. There are also elements that are stolen from better known movies like the mysterious truck that keeps chasing them during their drive, with the identity of the driver hidden, that’s taken straight from Duel. Loopholes abound as well as we later learn that Hess is the driver of the truck, but how was he able to avoid being shot by his cohorts earlier with a gun aimed right at him and how was he able to hijack the truck as he had been without any vehicle? Maybe he was able to hitch a ride with a truck driver, just like he did with the couple, and then do away with the driver once inside, but this is stuff that needs to be shown as otherwise it comes-off like the filmmakers are just making up the rules as they go with no concern whether it’s logical.

The twist ending is limp as it features Nero setting the car on fire with his injured wife inside and putting Hess’s dead body next to hers in an attempt to make it look like both he (Nero) and she died in the blaze, but there were such things as dental records back then, so after the coroner examined the charred bodies he/she would determine that it wasn’t really Nero who died and thus the authorities would continue to search for him. Seeing him then become a hitchhiker himself leaves open too many questions and comes off like a cop-out where the filmmakers ran out of ideas and thus decided to just end it there.

End of Spoiler Alert!

The moment where Nero is forced to watch Hess make love to his wife, and witnessing the humiliation and anger in his eyes, is the film’s best moment. Watching Clery, the only person you sympathize with, is entertaining both with her clothes on and off. However, the film lacks any character development, and the plot is quite strained with a lot of moments where the story, much like with the car ride, doesn’t seem to be going anywhere and if anything, just driving itself around in circles.

My Rating: 4 out of 10

Released: March 4, 1977

Runtime: 1 Hour 44 Minutes

Rated R

Director: Pasquale Festa Campanile

Studio: Explorer Film ’58

Available: DVD, Blu-ray, YouTube

To All a Goodnight (1980)

to all a goodnight

By Richard Winters

My Rating: 2 out of 10

4-Word Review: Santa stalks sorority babes.

An initiation stunt at a girl’s sorority house goes horribly wrong and one young woman falls to her death off of a balcony. Two years later the girls get ready for a Christmas party by inviting some boys over and soon they are all getting down-and-dirty, but then someone dressed in a Santa Claus suit begins hacking them off one-by-one.

I’m a big fan of David Hess who directed this feature as I feel his performance as Krug in the classic horror movie Last House on the Left was effectively intense and this film is also written by Alex Rebar who starred in the cheesy cult flick The Incredible Melting Man, so I wanted to cut this movie some slack, but found that I couldn’t. Things start out bad from the very beginning with a tacky flashback sequence that is wretchedly acted and photographed and then things go straight downhill from there. Part of the problem is that the scenes featuring extraneous dialogue between a lot of bland, cardboard characters that is usually used at the beginning of most 80’s slasher flicks as a sort of set-up, but here they get strung along throughout the entire movie. The killings themselves are brief and paced so infrequently that you start to forget that this is supposed to be a horror film. The tension is nil and having a setting dealing with snarky, snotty and horny sorority babes is a tiresome cliché.

The killings themselves are poorly photographed in dark lighting, so it is difficult to follow the action. The special effects are cheap and unimpressive. One scene features a couple getting killed while they have sex, which is a poor rip-off of the same scene that was done in Mario Bava’s Bay of Blood. Some fans of the film boast about the scene featuring a death of two people by an airplane propeller, but this is really no big deal because all you see are a few seconds of blood splattering on the outside of the plane and that’s it.

The script is illogical and full of a lot of loopholes. The identity of the killer turns out to be two people using the same disguise, which doesn’t make sense for several different reasons, which is too may to elaborate here. There is also a Leia character played by Judith Bridges who gets accosted by the killer in a shower stall while being completely naked, but for some reason is not killed and instead we see her at the end dancing some nutty dance, but with no explanation as to why. The policemen hired to protect the girls after the first victim is found dead do not dress in uniform and instead look like they are ready to go out to a club to pick up chicks and behave like it, which seemed wholly unprofessional and ridiculous.

Jennifer Runyon makes her film debut here. She had a brief 13-year-run, which included a co-starring role in the 80’s series ‘Charles in Charge’, but has not appeared in anything since 1993’s Carnosaur. She is certainly easy on the eyes, but her voice is too high-pitched and sounds almost like she is 8 or 9 years old or someone who has sucked up helium. Hess also casts his mother Judy Hess in a small role as Mrs. Ronsoni although in the closing credits it gets incorrectly listed as Mr. Ronsoni.

Despite being set at Christmas the action takes place in the warm tropical climate of California, which is okay, but the expectation for a Christmas movie is to have snow and cold. Having the girls trapped in their house because of the frigid weather or being chased by the killer while trudging through deep snow could’ve helped heighten the tension and added an atmosphere.

The pounding electronic music score is the only thing that I liked and helped give this otherwise static and forgettable production a slight distinction.

My Rating: 2 out of 10

Released: January 30, 1980

Runtime: 1Hour 23Minutes (VHS Print)

Rated R

Director: David Hess

Studio: Intercontinental Releasing Corporation

Available: VHS